Please, I’m begging for your help. In the comments please list off as many reasons you can think of that my 7 year old does not want to do ballet. The person who gets closest to the real reason she gave us will get a gift card for $5.00 for Starbucks or Target or Walmart or some store you will use it at. The only stipulation is that you must live in the US so I can send it to you. Oh, and all answers have to be G-Rated.
Category Archives: Funny
Factual Friday: Acrylic Drums
Just to add to the ‘way too much’ nature of this blog: I learned to play the drumset in Jr. High on the school’s acrylic drums. They were clear, tuned poorly, and older than the entire drum section’s ages combined. We loved them. We played and played on them. No animals or trees were harmed in their manufacturing, unless of course you consider that plastic is a petroleum biproduct, in which case animals and plants may have been harmed quite some time ago for their manufacturing. I’m pretty sure PETA would protest those drums and put paint on them. We’d probably have hit the PETA members back with the wooden drum sticks we all carried around with us EVERYWHERE.
I Have A Problem: Knowing When to Answer in Boolean
I’ve recently realized that when people ask me one particular question (and many other non-particular questions) I get rather animated and excited and run my mouth. The question: Do you like coffee? I do. I like it a lot and apparently I’m often compelled to answer that I like it so much that I sometimes roast my own. They asked a yes or no question, I ran my mouth with a longer answer that might come across as, “more than you!” I don’t mean it that way, I just like the brown, roasted beans a bunch. Apologies if you’ve run into this with me. Feel free to suggest to me, “That was a question requiring only a boolean response.” I’ll take the hint 🙂
Dreams
I have been having weird dreams lately. One included my friends’ in the closet of my youth on wifi enabled laptops. I’d go into more details, but you’d either want to shoot me, or I’d have to shoot you. Either way, awake feels safer than asleep lest I have more weird dreams.
They’re Playing Our Song…
American Idol had a clip from House of Pain’s Jump in the background. A song that came up on the honey moon trip of Jessica and I. A song we didn’t pick, but one that we couldn’t remember the name of. I woke Jessica up late that night to tell her I had thought of the song’s name. It is NOT our song, but it does make me laugh every time I hear it.
Logic Problems
The four year old just shared this bit of logical gymnastics:
Sharks are fish. So you could call all fish sharks.
I’m going to pass on doing that. I’m also not going to bother her with the explanation of why that is not logically consistent.
I Married Young…
My wife goes to doctor.
My wife tells doctor that she’s been married 11+ years.
Doctor looks shocked that my wife would marry at 13.
Doctor calms down when she looks at the chart that shows my wife is actually 31 and not 24.
I married young, but not that young.
10 Useless Things in Order of Importance
- Calamari
- The Clapper
- Paper Chinese Take-out boxes
- The phrase “angels on the head of a needle”
- The Book of Norman
- Sensationalistic Media
- The Home Shopping Network
- Bright Spandex workout clothes from the 80’s
- Urinary Tract infections
- Robert Tilton
Sledding
I did some AWESOME sledding this last weekend. The awesomeness was in the fact that I forgot I wasn’t 17 and crashed into the snow. Do you know what is under snow? Solid ground that the snow has landed and accumulated on. My shoulder still aches a bit from the crash, but the good news is that while I’m 15 years past 17, my kids still think I’m awesome for doing stupid stunts 🙂 Maturity indeed.
Four Year Old On Management
At breakfast Grandma said, “When we’re done eating we’re all going to work together to clean up the house.” About 45 minutes later the 4 year old asks, “Why is grandpa on his computer instead of cleaning? Is he the manager?” I totally wish I could make this stuff up.
For the record grandpa did help with the cleaning.