I took the Honda Civic into the body shop this morning.
We get a rental car for the time between now and when the car is done.
It’s a Volvo S40 (I think).
However, when I sat down the seat felt kinda warm.
You know the feeling of when you walk into a room, sit down on a chair and it’s warm?
I don’t know about you, but I don’t care for that feeling.
It makes me think that someone might have passed wind and then escaped trying to hide their guilt.
However, I discovered that Volvo has got seat warmers in the car.

I have a hard time considering this a luxury when in fact I’m really just feally awkward.
Maybe its really my own problem, but I have to say that if I ever owned a car with heated seats I’d never turn them on so that I could drive down the road without feeling like everyone was staring at me thinking, “Was it Him?”

Randy “Hot Pants” Peterman

Today as I listened through part of Genesis as I drove I realized more than before how twisted Joseph was when he was dealing with his brothers.
But what hits me more now is that Joseph’s father, Jacob (Israel), had done a real poor job raising his sons.
He did such a hum-dinger of a job showing his children how to love (his wives
being two sisters who were pretty embittered towards one another because
of their father’s trickery and their husband’s love for one more than the
other).
His oldest sons faked the murder of their younger brother, Joseph, who was
later somewhat replaced by his brother Benjamin.
Joseph was not raised with that same level of corruption by his own father
because of his separation.

Later Joseph, being second in command in all of Egypt tricked his brothers,
after of course having God move him into a position of authority.
God works him into a powerful place by blessing his actions and Joseph
returns the favor with trickery, psychological trauma, and weird emotional
games.
Kinda sounds crazy, but at one point in time, to get to spend more time with
Benjamin he has Benjamin arrested for stealing something Joseph had
planted in his grain bag (the grain possibly being kamut).
As second in command he could have simply just said, “Leave Benji here and go
get dad,” to his brothers, but instead he had to be deceitful.
What a guy.
May this be a lesson to us all!

Resting in Him,

Randy “Liar, Liar, pants on fire” Peterman

Last night we went to GIS2’s soiree.
It was casino night, which is something like playing dress-up as an adult.
To clarify this is what I mean: I mean that adults get dressed up all fancy and then gamble using completely fake money at an instant casino (just add water).
The problem was that they had a two drink limit on the bar.
OK, the first two drinks were free, then you had to pay.
My dillema, because I didn’t know that I was going to have to pay for drinks (non-alcoholic, I had to drive) and I didn’t want to waste my tickets early.
So, to remedy that I had one drink when I got there and held onto the other ticket just in case I got thirsty later, fearing that I’d have the need get one more drink later I never spent the ticket.
It’s now a souvineer for the evening’s events.

My choice in gambling was open to craps, 21, blackjack, poker, slotmachines and cheese.
I ate a lot of cheese.
Since the other tables were generally crowded I chose to play Roulette.
If you’re not familiar with roulette I’ll describe it briefly to you.
Roulette consists of a table covered in felt, a wheel covered in numbers, and a roulette referee to keep the players from illegal holding.
You place chips (corn) on the felt pad which is covered in numbers (1-36 plus other miscellaneous things like even, odd and the like).
After players have placed chips bets, signified by the chips, the referee throws a little ball into the roulette wheel (which is spinning).
Shortly thereafter the ref will declair, “Five yard penalty, offense.”
For this each player must give the ref several chips and salsa.
Just kidding, more than likely you will not get a five yard penalty.
HOwever, you might lose your chips if the ball lands on the wrong part of the wheel.

I kept winning, which means that I stayed pretty much even.
The night ended somewhat young for us because we had to go get Abby from her babysitters (the Black’s).
We appreciated their kindness.

In the end the cheese won, and I’ve been able to reduce my overall intake of beano by 30%.

Resting in Him,

Randy “Big Winner” Peterman

This morning I took Abby to her weekly ‘gymnastics’ class at Gymboree.
Maybe it’s not technically supposed to be gymnastics, but it usually turns out to be a paying play group.
It’s fun none the less.
However, this morning Abby was rather sedate because the class was so large.
Normally she goes on Thursday mornings with Jessica but, as you may recall, Jessica was not feeling well on Thursday.

Abby would play for a while, and then she would walk over to the large mat where the group gathers, sit down and just sway back and forth to the music playing overhead.
I didn’t consider that to be too valuable for the time so I kept getting her up and encouraging her to do other things.
I plan on making her do lots of other things when she becomes a teenager to vicariously become a popular cheerleader.
This of course will cause her to separate herself from me, and in the end we’ll have to switch places due to a fortune cookie switch up so that she’ll understand I love her, and that I’ll know what it’s like to be a teenage girl.
Actually, I have no desire to be a teenage girl.
I think teenage girls don’t want to be teenage girls.
Women don’t want to be teenage girls (many don’t want to be college girls).
In fact, I think that women in many ways wish they were men, mostly because men are so focused and narrow minded.

We as men have put forth a tremendous amount of effort in the last 30 years to make computers that multi-task so we don’t have to.
We have earned ourselves countless hours of extra time simply by making machines that can grill the fat out of our meat, ride on our gas powered lawn mowers, and with a knife slice through an aluminum can effortlessly.
Why would I want to slice through an aluminum can?
Because someone made a knife that can do it.
They make knives for all sorts of culinary things, knives that turn your kitchen into a culinary playground.

I should just buy a set of those knives and let Abby play with them in the kitchen and save the money spent on her indoor playground at Gymboree.

Resting in Him,

Randy “Coach Dad” Peterman

No, we didn’t lose a family member, we didn’t lose a pet, we lost the purity of our daughter.
Abby has been fully exposed to Barney the singing purple stupendous dinosaur.
Jessica watched it with her this morning and said that she loved it, that she kept dancing and trying to sing along.
I once had high hopes that Barney would be a creature of the past when my children were around.
Dinosaurs are extinct, yet Barney lives on.

What I’m most concerned with is that the television is being integrated into her daily routine with things like Barney and movies.
Worse is that she sees my (work) laptop and starts calling, “Memo! [Nemo]”
Because I foolishly played Nemo on the laptop to see how the picture looked on it.
The picture was great, it was bright, clear and it made my TV (thanks Tony for that gift so many years ago) look like it was made for display globs of color synchronized to music rather than crisp images.
I don’t know what will happen in the future, we’re probably going to have to set some strict boundaries so that she doesn’t become a boob-tube baby (kinda like test-tube, only completely different).

You’re probably asking yourself, “Randy, how can I help?”
The answer is simple: write your favorite politicians and ask them to…
Oh, wait, you probably don’t have any favorite politicians.
That’s like asking you what your favorite kind of intravenous shot is.

Resting in Him,

Randy “Stupendous” Peterman

I have been keeping track of what people are searching for that gets them pointed to my site by the search engines (Google and the myriad of other search engines that sub-contract Google’s results).
I get a reasonable amount of hits from people looking for the best or worst of things.

Really Annoying

Someone was looking for a list of most annoying people.
That is, they were looking for a list of the best worst people.
If you were the worst, most irritating person, you’d be the winner.
If you lose at every other contest in life, just start bugging people, get on their ‘worst’ list and then your ‘luck’ has changed.

Surfing for the Ladies

Another thing that still gets me a reasonable amount of hits is my article on ‘The Women of Walmart.’
People are still being pointed to an article that just irritates them.
They’re looking for mammory glands enhanced by surgery, children in birthday suits, and all they get is a site berating the two corporations involved.
Too bad.

Fighting Chicks

People are looking for beauticontrol as well, which cracks me up.
Jessica wanted their products for Christmas, and I apparently displayed the right info to attract the search engines.
What I also got some attention for, though much less, was the fighting
chicks of ABC‘s ‘Alias.’
Jennifer Garner in her prepubescent fowl state (get it? fighting chick).

Anyway, you get the idea, people search the web for all sorts of things, and I’m proud to offer them a wide array of goofy, offensive, and yet some sound theological things to read, and I’m glad you’re reading this.
I appreciate all of the visitors that come by just to see what sort of things pop into my mind and happen to our family!

Resting in Him,

Randy “Search Monitor” Peterman

From the anagrams generator:
George Bush can be re-arranged to say “Bugs Gore, Eh?”
Sure this is simple, but word fun is a past time of mine.
Let me know if you can find other anagrams in names that are worth posting, I might eventually make up a page of funny ones.

Randy “partnered many”* Peterman

* Yes, this too is an anagram.

I may not have that headline just right, but there’s a new Mitsubishi commercial on TV for their 2004 Galant that just cracks Jess and I up (BTW Jess is feeling mostly better, but has still a wee more room for improvement).
The car is zipping through town and the driver is singing along with the music.
You see his mouth moving and it looks like he’s just belting it out.
People are admiring the car and also (apparently) seeing the excitement owning one can bring.
At the end of the commercial the camera moves inside of the cab and you hear and see that the driver is actually repeating his grocery list over and over to help himself remember what he’s got to buy.

That is so me.
I have to repeat the list or I’ll forget and find myself the sad man hoping he didn’t forget anything.
I usually don’t forget anything because if the list is longer than 3 items, I write it down.
However, sometimes I do forget something and then we have an alternate meal, or I go back to the store.

I’ve got to go to bed though, so I’ll share more about my fabulous time in God’s word tomorrow or some time soon.

Resting in Him,

Randy “Turkey” Peterman

Jessica is sick again (7 days after getting sick the first time).
This time she’s got a [removed so I don’t have to sleep on the couch ;)] infection (yippee!).
We went to the doctor this afternoon and she gave Jessica a prescription to kill the infection and yet another one to muffle the pain.
Fortunately the generic pain killer works, unfortunately it upset her stomach a little.
Or it could be the Cipro upsetting her stomach.
Both pills have that listed as a side effect – it is effecting her ‘in’ side.

On the upside she’s having less pain in other areas.
Abby on the other hand has seized upon the opportunity to trash the apartment faster than I can slowly pick up after her.
Jess has been frustrated by the condition of the apartment, but with her sick, and me trying to work (at times from home) it’s a bit tough.
The little stinker removed her diaper and peed on her crib this morning – proof that she’s nearly ready for potty training.
A couple more months and we’ll be ready.

However, Abby’s cuteness continues to show itself because when we went to the
doctor the doctor was so taken with Abby that Jess suspected that the
doctor might have been completely wrong because she was too busy playing
with Abby rather than focusing on Jessica.
Abby is of course a cute little girl, but her work on the apartment is a hair
frustrating.
I think that her cleaning habits will have to change or we’re going to have to take 99% of her toys away 🙂

Anyway, I hope this finds you well, and thanks for stopping by.

Resting in Him,

Randy “Not a Nurse” Peterman

This morning before work I read Genesis some more (I’m way behind on my reading plan) and was reading about Jacob.
What a guy.
He said that if the Lord blessed him in his journey he’d serve Him.
Now, before I sound arrogant, there are times that I too have tried to ‘lay down the fleece’ or test God.
However, God had been faithful to Abraham and Isaac before him.
I was concerned because Jacob seemed to not pick up from his father the reality of God’s sovereignty.
This makes me want to help my daughter, and others around me, understand the omnipotence of God.

I love Jacob though because he’s got a wrestler.
He also had a good wit about him to send presents before him to his brother, wanting to make peace, just in case there were issues.
I love my brother and I’m pretty sure there’s nothing between us, but I know that there are other people I have had questions about… I think I’d send camels too.

In short, today was not optimal, I fell short of some of the goals I had on the list, but I did get to talk to Tony, and that’s a good thing.
I love Tony, he’s a great brother in Christ, plus his sense of humor is priceless.
He makes me laugh, and when he’s not making me laugh he’s making me think.
He was a leader at his church retreat this weekend, something he said he’d not have volunteered for.
However, I think he’s a great leader because he’s a gentle corrector (this is coming from someone he’s corrected more than once), and a loving, compassionate man.
Also, he’s a good leader because he can process information and explain it well without using big words, something I need to learn to do better.

Resting in Him,

Randy “Turtle” Peterman