Category Archives: The Obvious

The things that are so obvious that it is funny.

2000

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WordPress is telling me this is my 2000th post.  Not a lot of content here, but just for grins:

1) The surprise non-geek post: Ligers

2) I’ve been blogging (mostly at this site, but when I started on a site that no longer exists) for over 10 years

3) Doing the math on that, I’m not a very consistent blogger

4) Before switching to WordPress I wrote my own blogging platform

5) Most people really want pictures of my daughters on this site, but I’m a bit short on photographs

6) After all this time I think my Sister-in-Law, Shari, still thinks I’m a dork

7) I have probably gotten the most comments on this blog from my mom, who used to regularly correct my spelling and grammar

8) This list isn’t very interesting

9) The blog I used to link to, but that is defunct, but that I miss the most is “Apropos of Nothing”

10) Before Facebook and Twitter I used to spend a LOT more time on this site

Thanks for the Fish

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When I used to work at the Christian book store in college I was a new hire and the owner was showing another new hire how he expected a display rack cleaned. He called it the “auto center.” I laughed because I thought it was a clever name. It was a name that sounded more grand than the plastic display actually was.

I got called into the owner’s office and was scolded for making fun of the name by laughing. I would like to take this time to point out that you’re welcome to laugh at all my posts – whether they’re intended to be funny or not – and I will not call you into my disorganized office (which I will be cleaning this week). I will, however, show you my guitar center.

Melborp A Evah I

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I have a problem: every time I run into a foreign name that is spelled out that is unfamiliar to me I read it backwards just to make sure someone isn’t playing a joke on me.  I’ve read too many books, watched too many movies or something that causes me to do this.  So far I have found zero actual cases of foreign names that are funny backwards… but I’m watching… waiting… I will not be fooled!

Discover: Making Notes of Things

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I just got what is the fourth call from the Discover card company (a company we’re working hard to sever ties with as soon as we can).  The first call they asked Jessica if she wanted to take advantage of an offer.  She declined after they smoothly talked her into what was a courtesy call that transitioned into an additional feature with monthly fees.  She was a little ticked.  Then they called back and said she hadn’t finished answering the questions from the previous call.  She was even more ticked.  They called earlier today but we didn’t answer because she was still not thrilled by their diligence.  They called just now and I answered (Jessica was not home). I tried to tell the guy on the phone she had declined and he said, “I’ll make note of that.”  I asked him to wait (it sounded like he was hanging up) and then he said, “What did I just say, sir?”  I said, “I’m not sure, tell me again.”

“I said I’ll make note of that.”

Me: “Make note of what?”

Discover Rep: “That she declined the offer.”

Me: “OK, thank you.”

The reason I asked him to clarify was this: “Making note” doesn’t necessarily mean “I have filled out the form she declined and we won’t bother you any more for at least 6 months.”  It could mean, “This woman’s husband is a crackhead, do not talk to him.”

Hercules: A Miniature Poodle Story

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I won’t explain entirely why we got a poodle pup, but I will tell you this: he’s going to be called ‘girl’, ‘her’ and ‘she’ for most of his life by strangers because little, white, fluffy dogs lend themselves to it.  Not my fault.  But tonight we had a funny moment at the pet store.  We had to go get a name tag so as to make sure when he escapes (and some time he will) he has a chance of being found, identified, and we can get a phone call (ideally).  Evie was with Jessica and I and she handed the checker our bright red heart shaped name tag.  The checker asked, “Did you get a new puppy?”

Evie joyfully replied, “Yes! His name is Hercules.”

The checker then enquired, “Hercules?  Is he a big dog?”

Jessica and I both laughed out loud and she explained to the checker that Hercules was a miniature poodle.  I predict this will be the first of many times that assumption comes about.  There is no better ‘worst possible’ name for this dog.  Except maybe “white armpit beast” which was one of my more creative suggestions.  The family declined that name in favor of something else.

Top Ten Reasons Not To Do Ballet?

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Please, I’m begging for your help.  In the comments please list off as many reasons you can think of that my 7 year old does not want to do ballet.  The person who gets closest to the real reason she gave us will get a gift card for $5.00 for Starbucks or Target or Walmart or some store you will use it at.  The only stipulation is that you must live in the US so I can send it to you.  Oh, and all answers have to be G-Rated.

Factual Friday: Acrylic Drums

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Just to add to the ‘way too much’ nature of this blog: I learned to play the drumset in Jr. High on the school’s acrylic drums.  They were clear, tuned poorly, and older than the entire drum section’s ages combined.  We loved them.  We played and played on them.  No animals or trees were harmed in their manufacturing, unless of course you consider that plastic is a petroleum biproduct, in which case animals and plants may have been harmed quite some time ago for their manufacturing.  I’m pretty sure PETA would protest those drums and put paint on them.  We’d probably have hit the PETA members back with the wooden drum sticks we all carried around with us EVERYWHERE.

I Have A Problem: Knowing When to Answer in Boolean

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I’ve recently realized that when people ask me one particular question (and many other non-particular questions) I get rather animated and excited and run my mouth.  The question: Do you like coffee?  I do.  I like it a lot and apparently I’m often compelled to answer that I like it so much that I sometimes roast my own.  They asked a yes or no question, I ran my mouth with a longer answer that might come across as, “more than you!”  I don’t mean it that way, I just like the brown, roasted beans a bunch.  Apologies if you’ve run into this with me.  Feel free to suggest to me, “That was a question requiring only a boolean response.”  I’ll take the hint 🙂