Jessica told me about a conversation she overheard at Victoria’s Secret’s Semi-Annual sale while rummaging through bins of undergarments:
Girl 1: So, do you think other women try these on?
Girl 2: I like to to live in the fantasy that they don’t.
Girl 3: Yeah, you just keep living in that fantasy.
Wow. The things that people say in public are almost as crazy as the stuff I write much more publicly on this blog.
So, what did you overhear?
Dear Coolpix Camera,
How was your stay at the repair center? I know you’re nearing completion and you’ll soon be ready to come home. I can’t wait to see you and be able to use the new external flash as well as take great pictures of Abby. Although you’ll miss Christmas this year, I do know that you’ll enjoy the overall trip to California since you haven’t been there before [to my knowledge]. I really hope that you can get here in time for New Years so I can take pictures of Abby asleep on someone’s shoulders while we party like its 1599.
Glad you’ll be home soon. Wish you were here.
Randy
So tomorrow it’s supposed to be 23 degrees. Hope, that would be warm. Actually, the forecast is for it to be a high of 3 degrees. A low of -6. Of course all of that is Fahrenheit. Which reminds me of a Ray Bradbury book in which these guys are all driving around in beetles and then they’re burning books and then this one gal is watching TV and then the alarm goes off and the coffee maker turns on and then the toast pops out of the toaster oven and then you discover that it wasn’t a dream, everyone’s dead but the automation keeps going. Or something like that.
I got an email from a friend this morning that started like this:
Randy-
I really have to tell you how I found your website. I heard a story on the radio this morning about man-breasts. I have to admit that this morning I searched for man breasts, and I found your website…
It went on to ask questions about my family and such but it does crack me up the way the internet can bring people together… for the freakiest reasons 🙂
OK, so this is not normal fair for this blog, but I found it so entertaining that I had to share.
Yee, old stunt cowe.
Via Dave Barry.
This morning while I was dinking on a guitar and Jessica was getting ready I heard Jessica spraying her hair spray. Then I heard Jessica say, “What are you doing?!” Then I realized that it was not Jessica spraying her hair, it was Abby spraying Pam, non-stick food spray all over the oven, the floor, her hands and the plastic hamburger she was playing with. As you can expect it was a fun mess.
Then…
This afternoon Abby wanted to play “Hairbears.” No, not CareBears like the ones you remember from being a kid (unless you don’t remember those from being a kid, and then it wasn’t like that at all), but “Hairbears.” Jessica was a blue hairbear, Abby was yellow and I was red. Eventlly it was announced by Jessica that I was “fart-a-lot.” An deserved name to be sure.
* Spamel Hamderson is a Henson Character from a Muppet show.
OK, so as I carried my dishes out to the sink this morning to rinse the egg off of them and leave them in the sink for Jessica to handle (I swear I’m not making that up) I saw something on the TV that really concerned me. There on the television was a woman dancing to really lame music. And, worse than her dancing, was the dog dancing similarly. I don’t know if that makes her a bad dancer or the dog tallented. However, I do know that I expect to see that sort of ‘wintertainment’ on public access TV, maybe even a PBS fund-razor, but not on broadcast television with a nationally syndicated programme such as “Goot Mornig, Unt Ya, America!” Or Maybe it was one of the other clone morning shows. Whichever one it was, stop the stupidity!
This morning we discovered that we were out of milk with the exception of about 3 millimeters at the botton of the whole milk jug. So, I hauled my close onto my body and my rear-end to the King-Soopers to buy milk and eggs.
Query:
Who in the heck came up with the name ‘King-Soopers.’
Answer
Someone with the whitty intellect to also come up with ‘Krispy Kream KDoughnuts’ or ‘Medicine Shoppe*.’
I think I have a a low tollerance for odd spellings or blatantly wrong spellings for words. That being said I’m the purpotrator of ‘StatTraq,’ but that is paying homage to my French-Canadian rue-ts. *
For the record I’m not French, Canadian or Roots; I’m white.
* note: I worked at the Medicine Shoppe in Carson City in High School. It is now not a Medicine Shoppe pharmacy.
Dear Camera,
Today I saw the case you normally ride in. It was empty and I missed you. I wanted to take you out and shoot something with you but there were no objects to shoot and there was no camera to shoot with. I hope that the nice people at FedEx Ground are taking good care of you. The man that packed you up sounded like a nice guy and he seemed to know what he was doing, but I hope that he’s not a mentally-sick fellow who wanted to hurt me because I was wearing a reddish-maroon sweatshirt with the word ‘Hoosiers’ on it. I wonder if he misread it and thought it said ‘hosers’ on it and therefore thought I was making fun of him. If that’s the case you’re doomed – I’m sorry for wearing the ‘hosers’ sweatshirt now because it may have put your fragile little lense in danger.
Of course maybe he was just a really nice guy just charging me for breathing FedEx-Kinko’s air. I hope that the air that is in the bubble wrap that he was going to use was from outside of FedEx-Kinko’s so that I could not have to pay for that air, too.
Greenwood Village is a little overcast today… wish you were here.
So the music industry is slowly warming to digital content distribution (MP3’s, WMA’s, and “live” concerts with Ashlee Simpson). However, the Movie industry is now cycling in about 5 or more years late. They’ve got their lawyers out en force working on suing the peer-to-peer (P2P) networks. What is so amazing is that companies like Microsoft have developed digital rights management software and Tivo uses some similar controls to limit what or how things can be recorded. However, people can get things recorded digitally all sorts of other ways. Limiting the P2P networks seems to be short sighted and it really isn’t going to stop them. Sharers will jump to other networks or other methods.
This kind of reminds me of the Boston Tea Party: the colonists didn’t like getting caught for smuggling – and when the Brits closed in, they went off and of course you know what happened next: they polluted the ocean and the environmentalists in Britain revolted to let the United States get formed to help save the fish.
I don’t know where I was going with that, but there you go!