Playboy.com launches “Women of McDonald’s” Yup, because we needed more pornography. Here’s what I don’t get: they stoop from Enron, to Walmart, to Home Depot. And now, McDonalds?

I wonder if there will be any law suits. Kelis may be all upset if other milkshakes start attracting boys away from her yard.

All joking aside, I find pornography disqusting and dissapointing. I am sorry that people will probably come to this site looking for more content from Playboy and the rest. Return to your wives for satifaction guys – it’s better for you, and its better for them.

It was an intense weekend. It was like a marathon without any actual running. It was like swimming a 200 meter sprint where the only water was showering. It was like climbing Mount Everest without ever leaving the mall. It was like yet another stupid comparison that it was not like. Actually, we did a lot Saturday and Sunday and we had to be around a lot of people a lot of the time without the break that makes socializing OK. I suppose I should clarify that it was the time with people we didn’t know that made it so intense.

Saturday the holiday shopping had already started and so when we went out to do a few errands we were overwhelmed by the number of morons in the parking lots and the number of people in the shops. Twice I parked next to people who probably shouldn’t have parked at a 15 degree angle in the spaces aloted for 90 degree parkers only. And we were trying to leave the mall parking lot and two older people (I assume they were a couple) were just walking along right down the lane I was in. Slowly. But. Surely. “Oh, Herald, there’s a car behind us. With cars behind it. Should we get out of the road?” Apparently Helga was more alert than Herald. Eventually they moved and we were able to go wait our turn for the exit at the mall.

Sunday we enjoyed church (a brief note from the service) and then there was a potluck to celebrate the new-born Jenkins’ baby Lauryn Karis (which is Greek for Grace). That was fun but we came home and I was so tired I took a nap. The problem was that I had to wake up from the nap. I was so groggy that it took me a while to get awake enough to get ready for family pictures. Once I was ready I plugged in my clippers (I had a lot of hair to trim off of my face). They didn’t work. They would not respond to the ‘on/off’ switch. So I had to resort to a free razor that came in the mail. Wow! That thing worked. All four blades worked in harmonious action to raze the forest on my face. I may switch back to a wet shave if that razor does that wonderful. My electric razor hasn’t been functioning correctly lately anyway (battery memory).

Anyway, we arrived at the photo studio in time to wait for an hour behind the others who were also waiting behind those they were waiting behind. Abby was good natured about it and endured many bad stories I made up. She posed well when we had our turn and delivered wonderful pictures. If only I could get her to pose for me that way! We ate when we got home and then put Abby to bed. Then we put her to bed again. Then again two more times. She’s been doing that lately and I’m afraid sleep will be less around here for the parents.

Oh, well. I know next week will be an X-weekend, too. We’re driving down to Texas on Friday. We’ll be there for 9 days so it should be fun, busy and involve a reasonably large amount of turkey.

A list of questions that is slowly, but surely, spreading like gangrene across the internut.

Movie That Made Me Laugh The Hardest The First Time I Saw It:

Mr. Bean, the Movie – my face hurt so bad. The second time I saw it, I was bored stiff.

Movie That Makes Me Laugh The Hardest After Seeing It 100 Times:

Rocket Man

Favorite Movie Ever:

Gladiator

Worst Movie I’ve Ever Seen In The Theater:

Sleepless in Seattle

Most Disappointing Movie:

Master and Commander

First Movie I Ever Saw Without My Parents:

Back to the Future II

Movie I Saw On My Very First Date Ever:

Lion King

First Movie I Ever Made Out During:

N/A

Favorite ’80s Movie That’s Totally ’80s:

The Wedding Singer

Most Embarrassing Movie I’ve Ever Seen Alone In The Theater:

N/A

Last Movie That Actually Scared Me:

13 going on 30

Movie That Gets Me The Most Excited When It Comes On On A Sunday Afternoon:

Beetlejuice

Movie That I Embrassingly Liked The First Time I Saw It:

Ann of Green Bagles

Last Movie I Saw That I Really Enjoyed:

The Incredibles

Last Movie I Saw That I Didn’t Enjoy At All, Despite The Fact It Stars A Midget:

Um, I don’t remember

Favorite Movie That I’ll Casually Mention I’ve Never Seen:

Bambi

Girly Movie That I Proudly Own On DVD:

Miss Congeniality

Movie That In Some Ways, Changed My Life:

Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. First movie I watched with Jessica

Movie That I Say Is My ‘Favorite Movie’ Around Arty People:

Wallace & Grommet

Last Movie To Make Me Cry:

Gladiator

Movie that others liked that made me want to spew

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragontails

Via Apropos of Something

Now, this reminds me of a ‘date’ experience I once had. In highschool I was in this band. We played really mediocre adult contemporary music (music that I wasn’t proud of). We played a show for a local youth group and one of the girls in the youth group apparently found me talented and attractive. So, my buddy Nate (whom I’ll refer to heretofore as ‘Natey-pooh’) hooked me up on this blind-double-date. They set a time and they would meet me at the theater. So I showed up early, not wanting to look like the ‘late date’ guy. And then I waited. I walked into the theater, looked around at all of the faces, hoping to see Natey-pooh’s familiar face, but he was not to be found. So I went back outside and waited some more. Finally, they pull up and say, “Get in, we’ll go see the movie at theater X because we’re late.” I told them I had spent my hard earned minimum-wage money and that they could buy tickets, too.

So they parked, met me at the front and introduced me to a girl I’ll call ‘danger.’ She seemed nice enough and as a teenage boy thinking with hormones, her appearance didn’t scare me off. We went into the theater and started to watch the movie. And that’s when danger started doing things that made me really nervous: she started to ask me questions. That’s right, we were watching the movie (It could Happen to You) and she asks, “So, I saw you in the band, you were great. Have you been playing long?”

I’ll pause now to point out that chick-flicks are not very fun for me, but I try to give movies half a chance. This movie became far more engrossing immediately because I wanted to avoid what was clearly a person who was not interested in social appropriateness. Namely, talking during a movie.

After the movie, which was interrupted many times, and at least once while Natey-pooh went to comb his hair in the bathroom while his girlfriend freshened up, we went out to the parking lot. Danger was ready to go to Denny’s and have some more time together, but Natey-pooh and his girl saw the situation in disrepair and came up with lame excuses as to why that wouldn’t work.

Natey-pooh, I don’t owe you for the date, but I do owe you for the save.