Category Archives: Opinion

2008 Birthday and Christmas Wishlist: Buy A Farm!

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This year for my birthday and Christmas I would like to make a donation to World Vision to have a family, or families, gifted farm animals.  I sure could use some new pants, a new computer and things that I can afford myself on my birthday and at Christmas, but I’d rather open a card that says, “We got someone else a goat for you!”  I can’t milk a goat very fast, but there are plenty of families that could use a goat and would be able to milk it almost as fast as my dad used to be able to milk a cow.  But that’s another story.

You can look into donating animals to families at World Vision’s site here. Work with me this year to gift a farm animal, or partial ownership of a farm animal, to a third world family that could really use the help of an animal.

The Conclusion of This Year’s New Years Resolution: FAIL

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I did not record an album this year.  I did not even record it after my birthday, but still in 2007.  This year saw lots of other things take priority.  However, there are lots of things left to do in 2007 before 2008 kicks off and I have to declare another resolution which I will probably fail at.

This year I did lose 30 pounds.  That’s a good place to start.

This year I did make my family a higher priority.

This year I kissed Jessica approximately five bazillion times… which is still far short of my lifetime achievement goal of infinity.

This year I watched Abby and Evie do some firsts like school, potty training (which is going well for the most part), and of course taking them both sledding together for the first time.  I have no proof of the sledding, but cameras and water are often enemies.  Or at least my camera doesn’t like water.  I know, because I asked it.

This year has been a good year – but its time for me to go to bed for the last time in 2007 so that I can work the last day of 2007 tomorrow and then kick of new years by sleeping in or something.

i-wanna-be-green-in-UR-checkout-line

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So I saw a granola boy try to pick up on the checker at the granola store today as I was buying supplements for my wife.  Only he was a wannabe granola boy.  He was wannabe once he started to flap his jaw and reveal his ignorance of environmental things.  Here’s how the story played out (with my colored commentary because this is my blog):

Granola boy (GB): Hey, I like your hat!

Checker (C): Thanks.

GB: Did someone make it?

C: No, I got it at [some store with a name like ‘Twisters’, but I don’t recall exactly]

COMMENTARY: Someone had to make it.  The last time I heard mushroom caps were not being produced as headware.  It may have been an under-privileged child in a third world country – but someone made it.

C: Do you want paper or plastic?

GB: /leaning over counter/ Um, its going to be heavy, huh?

C: I guess.

GB: Plastic.  We need to figure out what we’re going to do with all of the plastic bags we already have.  When are we going to start caring?

COMMENTARY: Doh!  Stupidest dumb self-defeating thing GB could have said at the end is about his lack of caring to know that there are bag recycling programs at most major supermarkets – and they don’t care what stores names are on the bags.  Furthermore, two paper bags would have held what he had and he could also have recycled those.  Or put them in a worm compost pit.  The worms mix the paper with the soil and turn it into rich, good for your plants, soil.

C: Yeah.

GB:  God bless. /walks away/

I slid into my position in front of the register

GB: /comes back/ maybe we can find some worm or something that could eat the bags /walks away/

I figured that C was smart enough to know this guy was talking out of his bum so I didn’t continue on the discussion – she didn’t need me to tell her that the guy was dumber than the dirt he seemed to care about so much.  It is good to be living in Colorado and be able to see that the people are not as granola as the nation thinks.  Maybe we could find some worms to eat people like that?

A [SIC] Letter to the Plubic

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I just wanted to let you know that I’m only checking my personal email once or twice a day now.  I used to check it like a crack fiend, but decided that my time was worth more than that.  I want to read your emails, and I will, but I just thought I better let you know that they’re being read at a different interval than before.

Email is a great tool, and I make a living, in part, because of email – but I’m reading it about twice a day now: morning and evening.  If you don’t get a response soon enough give me a call.  The phone is still an instant interrupter 🙂

Hicks

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My grandparents have a pond on ther farm in Northern California.  A mere thirty miles from the rocky cliffs of Mendocino.  I think that Mendocino is a Spanish word for hippies and liberals, but since I only took two first year courses in Spanish you should probably look that up.  Yes, I took the first year course twice.  Es muy bueno.  El queso es viejo y tiene molde.  Anyway, my grandparents pond supplies the water that comes out of their faucets.  The water tastes like fish swim in it.  The fish do swim in that water, so I feel good about it tasting like pond water.

The problem is that I’m on a business trip down to Grapevine, TX.  The water here tastes like fish swim in it.  After being filtered by a multi-dollar filtration system that I’m sure the city paid good money to have put in incorrectly.  The water has probably been filtered with a fish net and a pair of used pantyhose.  I know that sounds cruel, but you’ll find that they have signs that indicate that the water is ‘Superior’ by some random test that is performed by drunk people who have had their tongues cut out.  The drunk tongueless people find the water superior to the toilets that they were reversing into the last time they stepped past drunk and into vomiting mode.

The upside is that our friends the Mason’s gave us several bottles of contraband.  I believe we have several bottles of bottled water that has been filtered to the point of tasting like nothing.  Nothing is exactly what water should taste like.  It shouldn’t taste like fish, kool-aide, teriyaki or Coors.  Oh , or perier.   But God has grace so that when we defile the water with labels like ‘Coors’ or Naive ‘Evian’ the water doesn’t just turn into air through an instant evaporation process so that we’re smitten for suggesting that God’s creation wasn’t good enough.

I just wanted to let you know that I like water… I just like it to taste like water and not sushimi gone awry.

Oh, and I’m thankful for the Mason’s giving us water that you can drink and be proud of.

One Half Hour

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This last Saturday morning on the way home from Indiana we stopped at the Cracker Barrel in Effingham, IL.  Shortly after we were seated an older couple sat down diagonally from us.  We didn’t think anything of it as the girls were chatty and wiggling.  Shortly after that a group of gals was about to be seated next to us and one of them said, “Ma’am, can we please be seated somewhere else in the restaurant?  We’re going to cuss and we don’t want to do it next to the children.”  They were seated elsewhere.

Our food came, we prayed and began to eat.  Suddenly I felt an arm around my shoulder and I looked up to see the man who had been seated with his wife diagonally from us looking down at me and he said, “I’m glad to see you praying in public.  It does my old heart good.”  I thanked him and he departed with a smile.

About 10 minutes later one of the gals who was going to be seated next to us but asked to be moved came by and said, “We didn’t mean any disrespect when we asked to be moved but we have been drinking and smoking marijuana all night long and we were going to be cussing while we ate.”  Huh?!  Why would you tell people this?  Why would you tell a total stranger that you were doing those things?

It is funny to me that in that short stretch of time two polarized events could take place like that.  We got on the road shortly after that hoping to avoid the drinking, smoking gals with their potty mouths.  Unfortunately there was a college game going on between Mizzou and Kansas University later on so we had to put up with crazy college drivers and birds being flipped all over the place as the drivers cursed each other for driving worse than the last crazy driver.

We made it past Kansas City and survived the day with great success arriving home at 11:05 PM.  Safe, sound, and really tired.

Can We Be Done with Bad CGI Commercials Already?

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I don’t think that ‘just because it is CGI, its good’ has ever been an absolute statement about commercials… but the latest CGI commercials that I’ve seen (I’m watching the Colts/Chiefs game in Indiana now)  are just stupid.  Stupid.  Stewpid.  Dumb.  Can we dump the CGI ==  good assumption marketing folks?  I love good, creative writing that causes people to pay attention, laugh, and consider the message – it is what makes life’s communication interesting.  These commercials communicate to me that marketing departments at major fortune 500 companies are disconnected with reality or out of ideas.

World Series Tickets

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A news report just came on and they were announcing that if you wanted tickets to the World Series you’d have to buy them on… the internet.  And then they said, “If you don’t have a computer you can go to the library to try to buy tickets.”  Yeah, because if you can afford $200.00 or more baseball tickets I’m going to predict that you’ve got enough money for a computer.  Maybe its just me, but that seemed rather silly.

Of course, it is ‘news’ so I shouldn’t expect too much.

Nine Years

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Today is our nine year anniversary.  Last night Evelyn kept us up with no sleeping, which falls in line to what we were doing nine years ago: Jessica was kidnapped by her bridesmaids and forced to go around Carson City, Nevada with a sign saying something embarrassing.  I was just not sleeping because I get so freaking nervous around events like weddings, baby births and waiting to pick up to-go food that I just can’t sleep.  So the lack of sleep from having two girls, one of which who is a night owl, is something that getting married prepared me for.  Not.

Upon the day of our wedding I was a super-emotional basket case.  I was unable to iron my own clothes so I had to go over to my parents house where my grandma was staying for the wedding and have her iron my clothes for the departure from the reception.  I could not operate an iron if I had to.  To further emphasize my inability to think I had to stop at the Mervyn’s on the way to the church to buy black socks because I had failed to bring some with me.  My brain was in a state of total and utter shock.  I’m surprised I could drive – I probably shouldn’t have.

Being married to Jessica has been an overwhelming success and I would definitely do it again (though I wouldn’t recommend it for others – she’s mine and you can’t have her).  She’s been through thick and thin, richer and poorer and sickness and health.  She’s also been a great spiritual partner as we have grown in the Lord.  She’s a rockin’ mommy and a great motivator (except for with working out which I refuse to do when she suggests it because I’m a stubborn dork).  I’m thrilled to be her husband and am looking forward to the next nine!

Chuck & Baseball

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We’ve been watching the new show Chuck. There’s something wonderful about the show. A quirky mix of humor, action and awkward social scenarios. If you’ve not seen Chuck you might try to catch up via the interwebs or some other method. Its a great way to rot your brain out on television.

Of course right now I’m watching the last half of what may be the last inning of tonight’s tie breaking game between the Rockies and the Padres. I wish that the Padres hadn’t just hit a two run homer so that they’re ahead by two. It’d make for some funner home-team ball.

UPDATE: The Rockies have tied back up!

UPDATE UPDATE:  We won!  We’re now in the playoffs for the World Series!  Yippeeee!!!