Category Archives: Opinion

Call the RIAA!

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This is a weird sarcastic poem that probably will scare more people than amuse 🙂

Today the car next to mine

was cranking his music up to nine
I could hear the lyrics just fine

I hadn’t purchased or paid a dime

Call the R-I-A-A

there must be some fine to pay

The lines are clear, there is no grey

Call the stinking R-I-A-A

He took off when the light turned green

I turned after him to stop his scheme

I had been intending to go straight

But I had to stop this violate

I swerved and shouted at this cheater

Until the cop stopped me like a speeder

He didn’t understand the trouble

With the music outside the bubble

As if the sound wasn’t copyrighted

He arrested me and I was cited

“Call the R-I-A-A,” I rioted

Screaming loudly, angry, violent

I had the right to remain silent

Out of Tune

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I submitted a cover song to a podcast cover song competition last month.  Actually, it was recorded last year, but submitted last month.  I got routed.  Spanked.  Demolished.  But such is the way of music, subjectivity and the fact that I can’t hold pitch very well compared to better trained singers.  However, this was a learning experience and if there is a next time I’ll take what I learned from this and attempt a better submission.  What are those things I learned you ask?

  1. Re-record your vocals until they’re as close to spotless as possible.  I’m certain this cost me.
  2. Work out your arrangement and refine it.  I have tried to communicate this to others but somehow didn’t apply it to myself (can you believe I’ve produced a band before?)
  3. When you play your recording for someone and their first reaction is to laugh… it might be best to figure out how to get a smile instead

I appreciate that Dan Klass, one of the judges, was the Paula Abduul of the group 🙂  He at least liked the beginning few seconds of the song 🙂

Close Shave

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I got my Valentines day present early.  Jessica (and the girls) got me a shaving kit.  One that includes shaving oil, shaving creme a badger hair brush and post-shave lotion.  Wow!  This shaving experience is probably uncommon today compared to 100 years ago.  Who thought that using creme from a can was a good choice?  The oil helps keep the razor from mutilating my already funky skin.  The creme & badger brush create a nice smooth lather on top of the oil, and then the razor slides across my skin getting the hair up and off while keeping the skin in tact.  The lotion was not greasy and really made for a nice, smooth shave that I look forward to employing for years to come.  Thanks, Jessica, Abby & Evie!  And for those of you who wet shave, consider dropping a small amount of money on a kit like this, it will make shaving fun, and the results are well worth the extra cash because you’ll feel like the $50.oo (USD – and that’s an estimate, I don’t know the actual cost) is shining in your face.

Superbowl Sunday

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Tomorrow I will be watching the Super Bowl to see if the Indianapolis Colts win.  Since my father-in-law lives in Indy its time to root for the relative’s home team.  I mostly hope that the Colts win because then the commentators will not run on with their completely ridiculous statements of how Mr. Lazer-Rocket Arm is just a good quarterback because he hasn’t lead his team to the Super Bowl.  I used to just watch for the commercials, but frankly their most recent showings have just been lame.  Maybe someone will come up with something funny this time – and I hope its not the football teams.

Steve Ballmer Has Hypocrate Written All Across His Very Large Forehead

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Not that marketing isn’t often filled with lies, half truths and gotchas, but Steve Ballmer is a goober [CEO of Microsoft]. For example, you can watch this video on YouTube of him making fun of the iPhone. He thinks that on-screen keyboards are bad for computers because its difficult to type (apparently he’s never heard of muscle memory). That silly iPhone has all of its interface, except for two buttons, built into the touch sensitive screen. Who would want that? Apparently Microsoft. Witness the Microsoft Ultra-Mobile PC. It has a touch screen keyboard, and gets fingerprints on it just like an iPhone, only it doesn’t make phone calls. I challenge Microsoft to make sure its not speaking out of both sides of its bank account next time.

There are Times I Wish I Lived in Indiana…

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Just so I could participate in local culture there.  Local culture romance that is.  Sweet googly-moogly, why don’t they have a restaurant in Colorado?  Whitecastle is having a reservation only Valentines Dinner (details here).  Of course you’ll still have to put up with the jerks honking at the drive-through, but its still an interesting concept.

You can read why I’m so fascinated by Whitecastle here, here, here and here.

Why Dyson’s Suck

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My sister brought over her vacuum this evening.  Due to a mixup in communication.  She kindly left it for us to try out.  Here are ten reasons why no one should buy a Dyson:

  1. You like a vacuum that has no suction power
  2. You like to wrestle with suction tubes
  3. You like to leave junk in and on your carpet
  4. You like to wrestle with vacuum bags and get dust all over the place due to that wrestling
  5. You like to replace vacuum bags
  6. You hate to clean your stairs and making it painful will keep that hate alive
  7. You like vacuums that are designed poorly
  8. Easy to clean vacuums that clean easily sound too good to be true
  9. You like vacuums that don’t have a powerful suction power
  10. You’re me and you don’t have enough money right now

I loved this vacuum.  I’m going to save up and get one.

Mydo Kawa

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So I was listening to a station on Pandora.  This band comes on and starts sining, “Mydo Kawa.”  I was thinking to myself, “These guys sound white enough, but that’s surely some oriental language.”  Turns out its the Steve Miller Band and he’s singing “My Dark Hour.”  Enunciate!  Or move to Canada, learn to enunciate and then sing your silly songs.  Mydo Kawa!

We Missed the Apprentice Season Premier

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And boy are we sad.  We were really hoping to catch the sappy intro wherein the Hair Flair Scare gets greeted by his super-model wife and child who has more hair than him and then he tells us about how the apprentice is going to finally be selected from a group of cannibals who have no qualms eating their opponents for breakfast, lunch and dinner [and if Taco Bell sponsors it again, “fourth meal”].  Can you believe we missed that?

I would have loved to have seen the opponents get briefly introed as successful business people, brilliant students and quadrillionaires.  Which leads me to my next point: why doesn’t Donald Trumpt do an ‘Apprentless’ show where people compete to work in the mail room.  Normal people.  People like you and I?  What?  You don’t want to filter through Donald Trump’s email?  Me neither, but it would be a good candidate for the Discover channel’s Dirty Jobs show 🙂