Category Archives: The Obvious

The things that are so obvious that it is funny.

Hockey!

Posted on by

I went to a hockey game tonight thanks to the kindness and generosity of our friends the Rollisons. Jessica and I joined Bill & Jamie and we had a blast! The game of hockey is one I’m totally unfamiliar with. My brother played roller hockey when I was in High School, but I never really learned it then either. Sorry Ed, I was so amazed by the sweet inline moves that I forgot to pay attention to the rules. Here’s what I learned:

  1. There are three periods per hockey game unless overtime kicks in
  2. Those periods have nothing to do with a woman’s cycle
  3. There are blue lines on the rink floor that just confused me, but at times in the game people should or should not be on one side of the lines
  4. Hockey goalies are some of the most amazing athletes because they have the intestinal fortitude of Hercules
  5. Power Plays do not have to involve Congress or one of the three branches of the United States Government

There were a series of threats or epithets that I have to share

  • Kill him! – yelled at one hockey player in an attempt to motivate him to cause the game to get interesting
  • Homo! – yelled at one hockey player to let him know how the fan really felt
  • The ref(eree)s are stupid, they’re wearing tight pants

At one point in time I yelled out, “Get off of him!” to a player who was just sitting there holding another player down on the rink. A fan in front of me turned and said, “Come on man, its Valentines.”

Hockey is fast paced and the only sport with more continuous action is motorized vehicle racing of the Formula One/NASCAR/Super-Cross variety. It was good fun and even Jessica enjoyed it, which is saying a lot!

The Avalanche beat the Ducks 2 to 0 and the best part of the post-game discussion was guessing how people actually pronounced the names of the player. I’m just not French enough. A Quick Hockey Clip from the game

Close Shave

Posted on by

I got my Valentines day present early.  Jessica (and the girls) got me a shaving kit.  One that includes shaving oil, shaving creme a badger hair brush and post-shave lotion.  Wow!  This shaving experience is probably uncommon today compared to 100 years ago.  Who thought that using creme from a can was a good choice?  The oil helps keep the razor from mutilating my already funky skin.  The creme & badger brush create a nice smooth lather on top of the oil, and then the razor slides across my skin getting the hair up and off while keeping the skin in tact.  The lotion was not greasy and really made for a nice, smooth shave that I look forward to employing for years to come.  Thanks, Jessica, Abby & Evie!  And for those of you who wet shave, consider dropping a small amount of money on a kit like this, it will make shaving fun, and the results are well worth the extra cash because you’ll feel like the $50.oo (USD – and that’s an estimate, I don’t know the actual cost) is shining in your face.

Anna Nicole Smith News Updates

Posted on by

You can get Anna Nicole Smith news updates from Shuttle Bus Drivers.  This morning the bus driver, on the way to Denny’s, gave me the latest unknowns with the Smith case.  He asked me what I thought.  Which would be like asking me what the latest news is on haute fashion.  Unfortunately when I shop I get my Old Navy “Fash’on.”  I also don’t keep up with Anna Nicole Smith rumors as much as the ‘average’ American.

Steve Ballmer Has Hypocrate Written All Across His Very Large Forehead

Posted on by

Not that marketing isn’t often filled with lies, half truths and gotchas, but Steve Ballmer is a goober [CEO of Microsoft]. For example, you can watch this video on YouTube of him making fun of the iPhone. He thinks that on-screen keyboards are bad for computers because its difficult to type (apparently he’s never heard of muscle memory). That silly iPhone has all of its interface, except for two buttons, built into the touch sensitive screen. Who would want that? Apparently Microsoft. Witness the Microsoft Ultra-Mobile PC. It has a touch screen keyboard, and gets fingerprints on it just like an iPhone, only it doesn’t make phone calls. I challenge Microsoft to make sure its not speaking out of both sides of its bank account next time.

Tivo? It’ll Never Take Off

Posted on by

I am about to confess something horribly silly: I first heard about Tivo in Indiana at my father-in-law’s.  He had a shirt that said Tivo on it.  I hadn’t heard of it, but he had been to their demo somewhere near IUPUI’s campus was (where he worked at the time), so he explained it.  I laughed and said (boldly and stupidly) I can do that with my VCR.  Oh, the queens of the stone age will rule with an iron fist – for about 2/3rds a second.

Jessica is now on the phone with her mom explaining to her how her mom’s DVR works.  We have one and we love it and use it, its not Tivo brand, but its the exact concept my father-in-law explained to me.  The one I mocked.  I’m such a goober sometimes I scare myself.  I’m hopeful that I wouldn’t have been so brash as to say that movies with sound were just a fad [Joseph Schenck did].

There are Times I Wish I Lived in Indiana…

Posted on by

Just so I could participate in local culture there.  Local culture romance that is.  Sweet googly-moogly, why don’t they have a restaurant in Colorado?  Whitecastle is having a reservation only Valentines Dinner (details here).  Of course you’ll still have to put up with the jerks honking at the drive-through, but its still an interesting concept.

You can read why I’m so fascinated by Whitecastle here, here, here and here.

Frozen Yogurt

Posted on by

I took Abby out to get frozen yogurt tonight.  Only the shop was closed.  They’re on sabbatical for approximately 10/12ths of the year.  Abby was dissappointed and said, “The lights are out and the people are bummered.”  But I think she was the ‘bummered’ girl.  Such is life.  I love her little phrases that try to hard to speak at an adult level.  Being her dad is awesome – if your kid is half as cool as mine you’re a blessed parent 🙂

Paying Out of Pocket

Posted on by

Have you noticed that we ‘pay out of pocket’ for some things?  I’d like to challenge the readers of this blog to consider paying out of other clothing items’ parts.  For example paying out of sleeve, paying out of hat or maybe paying out of the delicates.  There is so much opportunity here for creativity – because frankly in our modern mostly cashless first world society we’re all paying out of the plastic wether its debited out of our bank account or added to the already limitless [wink, wink – nudge, nudge] amount of debt that we can get into with store specific credit lines, airline specific credit cards or worse: gas cards.

I for one am going to pay out of pant leg patch next time just to see how that feels.

Mandolin

Posted on by

I don’t play the mandolin.  However, I’m going to learn (like the unicycle I have yet to finish learning how to ride – but its hard to practice in the snow we’ve been having).  I got an inexpensive mandolin online.  But its bridge was more warped than Pauly Shore.  That is to say that its very, very much like a human being, only not quite right.  Wait, mandolin bridges are not like humans, but they are like shaped pieces of wood.  Shaped pieces of wood that should probably not be twisted like licorice.  Twisted pieces of rosewood that shouldn’t look like this:

Bent Rosewood bridge

I ordered a new bridge from some online music store (which hasn’t arrived yet).  Total money spent?  $37.00.  Yeah for cheap learning instruments.  Once I get familiar with it, I’ll have to save up and get a top dollar mandolin.  One like one of these.

Mydo Kawa

Posted on by

So I was listening to a station on Pandora.  This band comes on and starts sining, “Mydo Kawa.”  I was thinking to myself, “These guys sound white enough, but that’s surely some oriental language.”  Turns out its the Steve Miller Band and he’s singing “My Dark Hour.”  Enunciate!  Or move to Canada, learn to enunciate and then sing your silly songs.  Mydo Kawa!