I went to a hockey game tonight thanks to the kindness and generosity of our friends the Rollisons. Jessica and I joined Bill & Jamie and we had a blast! The game of hockey is one I’m totally unfamiliar with. My brother played roller hockey when I was in High School, but I never really learned it then either. Sorry Ed, I was so amazed by the sweet inline moves that I forgot to pay attention to the rules. Here’s what I learned:
- There are three periods per hockey game unless overtime kicks in
- Those periods have nothing to do with a woman’s cycle
- There are blue lines on the rink floor that just confused me, but at times in the game people should or should not be on one side of the lines
- Hockey goalies are some of the most amazing athletes because they have the intestinal fortitude of Hercules
- Power Plays do not have to involve Congress or one of the three branches of the United States Government
There were a series of threats or epithets that I have to share
- Kill him! – yelled at one hockey player in an attempt to motivate him to cause the game to get interesting
- Homo! – yelled at one hockey player to let him know how the fan really felt
- The ref(eree)s are stupid, they’re wearing tight pants
At one point in time I yelled out, “Get off of him!” to a player who was just sitting there holding another player down on the rink. A fan in front of me turned and said, “Come on man, its Valentines.”
Hockey is fast paced and the only sport with more continuous action is motorized vehicle racing of the Formula One/NASCAR/Super-Cross variety. It was good fun and even Jessica enjoyed it, which is saying a lot!
The Avalanche beat the Ducks 2 to 0 and the best part of the post-game discussion was guessing how people actually pronounced the names of the player. I’m just not French enough. A Quick Hockey Clip from the game