When you’re two years old you get to overhear all sorts of things. Abby just interjected, “It has innuendo and Spider-man, Grandpa.” What was she referring to? NBC pulling Father of the Pride from their line up. She’s never once seen that show, it does have innuendo, but I don’t recall Spider-man in it 🙂 Oh, and she was talking to Grandma!
Category Archives: Funny
Beatboxing
When you think of Randy Peterman, you think of beatboxing. Actually, if you think of beatboxing very often you probably are not a regular reader of this blog. However, this site got a link from one of the search engines because someone was looking for said term. Therefore I’m sharing this special sample clip of me beatboxing for your listening pleasure.
Shoot! That didn’t work, it’s just a midi file. Oh, well. I guess you’ll just never know what it sounds when I beatbox. Wait! I can type out some beatbox sounds:
Dhmp Dhmp Che Dhmp Dhh Dhmp Che
Wiki wiki wiki wiki wiki scratch.
<vanilla ice lyric>
Go White boy go!
</end white rap>
I suppose that I could move onto some other great search terms:
“I was a teenager”
“2004 US presidential candidates Randy”
“365th birthday”
“My computer turns itself up every 30 minutes”
Oh, well. I suppose that what comes in from the search engines is less certain than the winner of the presidential election.
Kerry Ahead in Exit Polls
Or Maybe not. Maybe George Bush is.
No one will say since the media really screwed up in 2000 .
One Florida voter was reported as saying, “I don’t know how I messed up on my ballot. My vision is better than 20% of the drivers in this state and I can spot a car I’m about to hit from within 3 feet of hitting it. My reaction time isn’t so bad, I usually have applied the breaks by the time of impact…
“What was the question again?”
Swing states like Colorado have reported that usage of swings in parks in Denver have gone down since the cold weather and yesterday’s snow make the park uninviting for voters. Teeter-Totter states like California (where the building go up, and earthquakes bring them down so they can be built back up again) have reportedly just voted Democrat because they want Arnold in the Whitehouse.
John Kerry, if his bid for the presidency fails, has been invited by George Lucas to act in any upcoming Star Wars sequel he may choose. “Kerry, is an emotional powerhouse, between his expressive face, dynamic speaking skills and the CGI that Industrial Light and Magic can create he’s ready to play an important role in one of my next movies, Star Wars: The Botoxine Battles,” said Lucas.
Sweet. Potatoes.
Tonight at dinner I was taking a bite of potato when I coughed. In a really bizaare moment a piece of that potato came shooting out of my nose. This was a little awkward and made everyone at the table laugh. However, this was not enough. Nope. I had a large piece of potato lodged in my nasal passage. I had to blow and blow to get those pieces out. Jessica was not impressed and threatened to uneat her dinner if I brought it up again.
So, dinner was good, I enjoyed it, but I was stuck with roots in my nose and a semi-nausious wife all due to coughing. Has this happened to anyone else?
Don’t Tell PETA
This is hardly ethical:
Apologies to John and Becca for tweaking their dog.
Washington State
Like Texas Washington is a state. Also like Texas people live here. But apart from that and having two senators in the United States Senate, the states are absolutely different. Colorado feels like an interesting blend of the West coast and Texas. Maybe it is because it nearly touches Texas and because Californians and other West coast nut jobs move to Colorado. Maybe it is because Trint is from Texas, moved to Colorado but lives in Texas again.
It is a little weird to see people leaving Washington wearing signs ‘The end is near! Mt. Saint Hellen is a warning!’ It would also be weird to be wearing a sign like that and have a matching pink leotard and tutu. The guy at one of the 350 Starbuck’s shops in this neighborhood was a little put off by my red sweatshirt that said (and I quote), “Indiana. Hoosiers.” My father-in-law John sent it to me for my birthday and it’s come in quite handy as well as looking stylish. In case you didn’t know Starbuck’s was started back in 1611 – the same year the King James Version was first published – in Seattle while the Russians were starting to beat the British in building the Grand Funk Railroad and out whaling Bob Marley and the Chinese fishermen.
Washington is beautiful, and God was generous and let the sun shine on us. Apparently around here that is as common as Beattle’s Reunion Tours. However, unlike Cher’s 3 year long ‘fairwell tour’ the sun went away and the clouds returned.
So anyway, I’m here now 🙂
How Not to Use Large Fonts
I have not checked this site out in Internet Explorer, but in FireFox the text is so large that I think the font size might actually be 500 pixels. Or to put it in lay terms: freaking huge.
Update: the font looks like it’s a heading in Internet Explorer. This is a classic case of bad web design furthered by bad web testing. Funny.
Next Superman Movie to Be Filmed in Australia
In this article Brandon Routh is Superman you can read that the filming of the next Superman movie will be taking place in Australia. I expect Phil Boardman to keep us all abreast of the latest Superman filming happenings since Australia is so small 😉 My only fear in all of this is that we’ll get a Superman movie that has Paul Hogan (Crocodile Dundee), Steve Erwin (The Crocodile Hunter) and a CGI Christopher Reeves (if you don’t know who this is then you’ve obviously not seen the news that ‘the original’ Superman died*) all with cameos.
* or that his wife cheapened his death recently by throwing his name around at a John Kerry rally – sorry about that, I was just disgusted by this lame political maneuver and what looked like a disrespectful action on her part.
Is ‘Dexter’ the Movie Coming?
Nick Bradbury, software author and RSS philosopher, at one point in time wrote a comic strip called ‘Dexter.’ As has recently happened in the last years movie studios have been clamoring for comic book and comic strip based movies. After the Fantastic Four, X-Men III, Beatle Bailey and Garfield II are released will we see Dexter the Movie? I think Nick and I would both agree that it would be better for them to bring Fawlty Towers back 🙂
What Do Ballerinas Wear on Their Feet?
They wear Balleret shoes. That’s a combination ballerina and ballet. My little girl cracks me up with her silly words, even if she says them with all seriousness. A day will come when she knows more ‘real’ words and we’ll be sad. Of course if she was still saying balleret at 15 I’d start to worry 🙂