Kerry Ahead in Exit Polls

Or Maybe not. Maybe George Bush is.

No one will say since the media really screwed up in 2000 .

One Florida voter was reported as saying, “I don’t know how I messed up on my ballot. My vision is better than 20% of the drivers in this state and I can spot a car I’m about to hit from within 3 feet of hitting it. My reaction time isn’t so bad, I usually have applied the breaks by the time of impact…
“What was the question again?”

Swing states like Colorado have reported that usage of swings in parks in Denver have gone down since the cold weather and yesterday’s snow make the park uninviting for voters. Teeter-Totter states like California (where the building go up, and earthquakes bring them down so they can be built back up again) have reportedly just voted Democrat because they want Arnold in the Whitehouse.

John Kerry, if his bid for the presidency fails, has been invited by George Lucas to act in any upcoming Star Wars sequel he may choose. “Kerry, is an emotional powerhouse, between his expressive face, dynamic speaking skills and the CGI that Industrial Light and Magic can create he’s ready to play an important role in one of my next movies, Star Wars: The Botoxine Battles,” said Lucas.

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