Category Archives: Funny

Goofy, off-the-wall or silly things I might find or think.

A Funny Story to Keep You Secure

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If I were Bruce Schneier and I had witness the following conversation I would tell the story at any possible opportunity because what you’re about to read is true, and stupid.  Instead this story comes from my friend, Dave.  Dave was telling me that while he was waiting for the shuttle at a hotel to take him to some destination the following occured:

 Two co-workers checked in together, one headed off to his room, the other asked the clerk what the first guy’s room number was… She wouldn’t give it out, “privacy” she said.  Good for her.

I decided to “help out” (okay, I like tweaking people), so I went up asked if he was in 105 ’cause I stayed in that one before and it had a funny smell…

She said, “No, he’s in 104.”

You just can’t make this stuff up 🙂

I Wish I Could Make This Up

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Someone searched on the Interwebs and got to my site.  They searched for”Neopolitan Dynamite part 2.”  I can’t even imagine what the first movie about exploding ice cream would contain, let alone a sequel.  It seems that Hollywood is reaching pretty far now 🙂

iLustForAniPhone

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I used an iPhone today.  Crap.  I totally want one – like I’d probably sell one of my internal organs for one.  Its cooler than cool.  It may single-handedly be able to reverse global warning and help find the cure for Paris Hilton.  Wow.

The downside is that I also want the $500.00 that it has as a requirement to get one 🙂

Color Me More Biaseder

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If I wasn’t biased before – I am more biased now.  Microsoft has patented an adware framework.  They want to patent the concept and lets pray that they don’t use it.  You can read more about it here.  I’m a Mac & Linux fanboy, and I know that many of you know that, but please, for all that is good let Microsoft know this is unacceptable.

A Customer Service Story & A Joke

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Today on my lunch break Jessica and I went to go close a bank account at a bank we don’t want to use any longer.  Upon going into the bank the two gals that were closest to one another behind the counter were bandying back and forth about getting married to a millionaire – together.  They argued who would get access to the money and who would have to sleep with the guy (they were definitely interested in the money and not the man who had accrued it).  Its the kind of customer service you dream of from a bank.  It reminded me of this joke:

A man is in a bar and finds a woman down the bar from him attractive.  He picks up his drink and slides on down next to her.  He looks her in the eye and says, “Would you sleep with me for $1,000,000.00?”

She sizes him up, thinks for a moment and then says, “Yes.”

The man looks back at her and says, “Would you sleep with me for $100.00?”

“What kind of woman do you take me for,” she asks.

“We’ve already established you’re a whore, now we’re just haggling over the price!”

The Fridge Saga Part III

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Since our fridge is apparently the most important part of our lives I thought I’d point out that today the repairman came and upon arriving he disassembled various parts of the two chambers and determined that he needed to order a part.  That part should arrive on Monday.  The person designated by some computer some time after the part arrives will be hear sometime on the 23rd.  In case you’re keeping track that would be around three weeks of borked fridge time.  I think they need to rename our deluxe fridge a Kenless instead of a Kenmore.

Rotten Eggs

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So this morning Krystal came over to work out with Jessica.  But she arrived as my eggs that Jessica was kindly cooking finished cooking and Jessica set them aside on a plate and let them sit there while they chatted about yoga, pilates and ran their mouths burning more calories.  My egg, however, was losing temperature fast.  Heat transfer was taking place due to the cold plate, the cool air around the top of the egg, and the fact that moisture was exiting the egg through evaporation.

Jessica marched it down to my office and in a loving way as she exited my office declared, “Its probably cold.”  Fortunately she didn’t finish the sentence with recommended methods of arming it up like sticking the egg under my armpits or sitting on it.

Fifth of July

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So yesterday night, after going to a mall (!) for to watch Fireworks the exiting of the mall was insanely slow.  While we waited for the mall parking lot to clear out one car driver got mad at another driver whom he thought was ‘cheating’ and started yelling out of his window at the other driver.  The other driver got out of his car and walked over and put his hands on the car door, fingers reaching into the car.  Dude!  Put your brain on, if you’re going to try to talk to an already angry driver, putting any part of your body into the car is stupid!  You may already know this.  I had my camera ready to record the fight, but it never happened.  The guy who got out of his car quickly got back into his car and waited and the fight never took place.

We ended up walking around the mall and killing time so that we still had to wait to get out of the mall.  If a 9/11 kind of event were to be threatened at that mall everyone would be at least injured simply because leaving the mall would be impossible.  Things were stupidly backed up with police help directing traffic.  I think next year we’ll watch fireworks from the comfort of some place else less insane.

Fridge Borked – Sears More Borked than the Swedish Chef

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So this weekend our fridge (which is just slightly older than two years) just totally stopped fridging and turned into a room-temperature-ator.  Fortunately we have a special service warranty on our fridge.  That way Sears can come out and service and take care of it.  So I called up and attempted to get service quickly.  Ha ha!  Silly me.  Why would I want cold foods?  Room temperature is the way to go.  Sears can’t schedule anyone to come out to my house until Tuesday late in the evening.  So I scheduled for Wednesday morning which was a more convenient time for me.  Not really, but since I’m going to have to go out to my garage fridge to get anything that I need to keep cold, I might as well do it an extra day so that the repairman can come when I’m home.

The other upside with my Sears call was that the guy on the other end of the phone barely spoke legible English.  I have no idea what his name was, but his thick Spanish accent made ‘Greg’ a little bit hard to believe as his name.  At least it wasn’t Peter Parker.