Category Archives: Confessions

Things about me you probably never wanted or don’t need to know.

Labor and Delivery Preparation

Well, the baby is still a while off, but Jessica is in the other room watching videos about labor and delivery that I’m supposed to watch with her later (I’m working right now so I can’t watch them right now. You can tell I’m working because I’m writing this blog entry). I can’t here everything that’s being said on the DVD, which is a good thing but the parts I’m picking up on are a little… well… scary? I guess I’m just not used to hearing the name of female body parts bandied about quite like they are on the video.

This is the part where I have to buck up and get past my slight embarassment, extreme awkwardness and just get ready for an extremely unpleasant time. For my wife. I get to watch and feel weird but she gets to do the actual labor and delivery part while I look on like a stupid man who’s never going to get it. And it’s true, I’ll never understand. I’ve been told that there are painful things that men can go through that have about the same pain level as labor and delivery… but I think those kinds of pains you have to pay for like fixed broken, hang nails, ears pierced and eating ice cream.

It’s tough to be a guy.

Crank It Up!

Since Jessica and Abby are out of the house this afternoon I’ve got my music turned up to levels that would normally get me in trouble. Why is it that when the music is all encompassing (surround sound helps) and loud, it just has a better quality to it? Sure, there are times like when you’re at the doctor’s office that loud is not good, but when you’re tuning everything else out it just finishes the environment?

Well, either way I’m enjoying the bass frequencies since headphones just don’t deliver that 🙂

What’s your favorite environment for listening to music? The car? A special room?

Oh, to be 12 Again

Today at lunch I took my mountain bike (with slighly low tires, but that didnt’ stop me) to the BMX track near our house. I went around the track 4 time, maybe 5 and was done for the day. What a rush though! I was rather winded and dehydrated by the end but I just had a great time riding. I seperated from my bike only once and kept hold of the handle bar with my right hand so that when I landed on my feet I could keep going.

When I was 12 I dreamed of such a thing as a local track and actual jumps like that. It was beautiful. Sure, I’m 15 years late, but I can still have a wee bit of fun 🙂

No Microwave

We don’t have a microwave at our new place. We haven’t missed it yet.

How often do you use your microwave when cooking it on the stovetop or reheating it in the oven or on the grill would have sufficed? Our kitchen is smaller than any kitchen we’ve had with the exception of our first two stints in tiny apartments. This has required better organization and better decision making about what we keep, what we need to buy for the kitchen and in the end, so far we’ve decided not to get a new microwave. Sure, that rush schedule may show up that would have made it convenient, but heating times is tending to be only a few minutes longer in the toaster oven or stove top.

I think that microwaves have become a cultural thing. Sure, there’s convenience, but I think that at some point in time it became an issue of jonesing [definition: to want something to ‘keep up with the Joneses’]. Sure, there are areas of my life where I too long for something completely superficial (yet another guitar, for example), but not the microwave… I’d rather have the new super-deluxe, ultra-amazing fridge-oven that you can program to keep food cool, and then at the set time it starts to heat it so that your turkey can be hot and ready to eat when you get home frum church 🙂 However, I’m not going to part with the $5,000 USD for one 🙂 That’s a major part of our kitchen remodelling budget that doesn’t exist yet.

I Love You This… SMACK

This evening at dinner I was trying to be cute with my daughter but instead assaulted our waitress. There’s a cute kids book which has a parent telling their child that they love them “…this much.” Well, being a cute dad with a cute daughter in the middle of dinner I wanted to tell Abby how much I love her. I asked, “How much does daddy love you?” And then I stretched out my hands to say, “This much.” But instead of reaching out in the air I smacked our waitress in the chest. I swear that in some restaurants like Hooters that sort of thing is a little more common. Of course the patrons doing that have had at least several beers before that sort of chest smacking activity happens. I on the other hand merely had diet Coke in my system. To top that off I was sitting in front of my wife trying to demonstrate to my daughter love.

However, there was a happy ending: the couple at the table diagonal from us (booth really, but who’s counting?) had apparently given up communicating. The husband sat there looking ugly and bored while his wife was made up, wearing nice clothes and most likely trying to be his beautiful partner. Since cro-magnon man wasn’t keeping up his part of the relationship the gal took to reading every letter that was printed on all of the propaganda, menus and sugar wrappers at the table. I felt sorry for her: she is going to be one of the many women in the United States who has an affair because she finds a man who pays half-of-an-attention to her. The other man could be the pool cleaner, the Schwann’s man or the hired pooper-picker-upper who comes every Wednesday to pick up after ‘Pickles’ the family poodle.

The moral of this odd blog entry? Men, don’t accidentaly whack waitresses in the chest, it does not demonstrate love. Secondly, men: don’t take your wife on a date and then become the most rock-like object in the establishment. Thirdly, men, don’t whack your waitress with rocks… this is generally not as acceptable as leaving a 25¢ tip, and in some cultures could leave you dead and in the gutter. Fourthly, if you’re a waitress it is highly recommended that you learn how to put makeup on. Our waitress had so much base on I thought she was a low-rider. I think it is possible to wear more foundation, but you have to have a building permit.

Wow, that was a tacky play on words, I best go spend some time with my wife and unwind.

Permission to Blog

If you like children, and most readers of this blog do, then you’ll love the news that my dear, sweet wife and I were planning on starting to try to have a second child in May. You’ll love that news. You’ll think to yourself, “Self, what in the heck is Randy getting at?” And the answer to that question is this: Jessica is pregnant. She has been since the end of January. It has been killing me that I couldn’t blog about it. So, tonight Jessica gave me permission to tell y’all.

She’s due in October, exactly one month after my birthday, the 25th. She’s just shy of being done with the first tri-mester and all is going well. As I’ve mentioned a few times before, Jessica hasn’t been feeling well. That is because she’s got issues with sugar during this pregnancy and having any large amount of carbohydrates causes her to feel really ill. The mid-wife seems to think that’s a terrific thing signifying that she’s actually having a healthy pregnancy 🙂 Two weeks ago Jessica and I heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time, which pretty much rocked.

So, in short, I’m going to be a daddy, and this is pretty darn cool. We’ve chosen a name if its a boy as well as one if its a girl. So, let the guessing begin… is it a boy, or a girl? And, what will the name be? The first person to guess the sex of the baby correctly as well as the baby’s name will get a Randy Peterman Digital Research & Development shirt 🙂

A Note to Readers

I just realized that I’ve been doing something for a long time. I’ve been toying with acronyms. I don’t know how Kosher it is to mess with acronyms, but at least 50% of the time you see an acronym, if you hold your mouse over it, the tooltip will not be the correct expansion of said acronym. For example, when you see TV in most posts it will actually have a tooltip that says something nasty like, “Rots your brains out” or “Run for the hills” or “I couldn’t think of anything witty for this.” So, when you see an acronym within the contents of this blog, please be careful. Just an FYI.

The Eyes of Nye

The Eyes of Nye
is a show by ‘Bill Nye, the Science Guy.’ Well, that’s what his old show was called back when I was a Jr. Higher. The funky thing is that I loved that show and would watch it as regularly as possible. I would also watch it even as an adult. It would come on Sunday mornings while I was getting ready for church, and what else could I do but turn on the TV and watch this hilarious show about basic science (usually physics or chemistry) while getting dressed, or ironing [for the record I’d iron the close before I got dressed].

I haven’t seen this show yet, but it could be good and funny.

The Zoo

Yesterday during the mid-day we went to the Denver Zoo. Well, we were going to go to the zoo but the parking lot was full. Having talked about going to the zoo to Abby, who at two years old has no comprehension of ‘the parking lot is full’ we drove to another area where we could get parking at a premium: a long walk. Sure, it was free parking but we had to walk around the zoo to get into the zoo so it already put upwards of 3/4 of a mile on our legs pushing a stroller (in case Abby actually got tired) before we got into the zoo. And, as you might expect, since the parking lot was full, so was the zoo. Because of zoo fullness I didn’t bring my camera with logic that was so great: it will be full, there will be too many people in the pictures. Turns out I was right and while there might have been a few fun photo opps there would have been a lot of backs and shoulders in many pictures.

Upon entering the zoo we found that the lion cubs were lazing about as well the adult lions – can you believe that? Nocturnal animals just sitting still; the gall of these critters. So we walked about the zoo and saw the animals and lots of backs and shoulders, but Abby had a good time being hoisted upon my shoulders and seeing over everyone.

And then it happened, out of nowhere I had a sappy dad moment. I was taking Abby on the “Conservation Carousel” where the gal who attends it is conserving energy by not showing any emotion while telling you the rules for riding the carousel. Anyway, the thing started up and I looked and saw my daughter (who, yes, I was holding up on the undulating polar bear) smiling with joy, and waving with glee to her mommy every time we passed her (Jessica was watching the stroller) and I had to fight back tears. I love Abigail and she brings such joy to our lives – it was a bit too much. However, I choked the tears back and we resumed the happy cycling of the carousel for what seemed like a really long short time. It wasn’t more than 3 minutes but it was a lot longer than that because of my emotional fragility.

So, to top off what had now become a special zoo experience as we were making our way towards the exit we say the giraffes running around (and that’s just fun to watch, they look so awkward) and then, right before exiting we watched the lion cubs run around and chase each other. We topped it all off with some ice cream from Bonnie Brae Ice Cream, which is possibly the finest ice cream in Denver.

Good times.