I was just telling my mother via IM that I was glad to have had the girlfriend I had before Jessica because she really made Jessica stand out.  That probably sounds like a slight, but later changes in her life lead me to believe that she grew a lot as a person, as did I.  The ex-girlfriend is often a marker for comparison, and I just didn’t have a lot of girlfriends so this one had the unfortunate position based on a weird High School boy and his whims as well as various other circumstances which will remain shrouded in mystery because she doesn’t need me to air things that I have no business airing. I’m genuinely grateful for the roughly three months we ‘went out’ because it gave me a greater context.  The XGF had to put up with my ‘no kissing’ rule which meant that on a few occasions when she wanted me to kiss her I had to refrain and she probably felt I was holding back.  Perceptive, and accurate.  My no kissing rule involved not kissing a girl unless I knew I was going to marry her.  That made things a bit restrictive as you can imagine.  But with out the XGF I would have missed out on Jessica’s brilliance in the particular context I did.

Jessica’s love for Christ, her genuine listening to me, and her commitment to her family and desire to respect her parents made her stand out like Yao Ming at an ewok convention.  Her honesty was compelling.  Her asking questions and wondering about biblical things meant she was trying to sort through things and make sense of what she was learning and it meant: she was learning.  Jessica was an amazing friend before she was a girlfriend and it was just brilliant to watch her grow in life, in the Lord, and in her desire to make something of her life.  Of course she also looked amazing, had a great brain (her intelligence has always kept me humble) and she liked good food – so it was a great match.  Jessica’s desire to serve her friends was also amazing.  She was still a teenager, but a teenager with a compassionate attitude of service and her willingness to serve blew my mind.

Without the XGF I’d have still probably been drawn to Jessica, but I was very glad to have the contrast that I did.  Jessica is really who I’m thankful for, but I’m also thankful for and still sometimes pray for the XGF simply because she’s a person whom I cared for and I hope she’s doing well.  I hope she’s found a great guy, and I hope that she’s living a great life.