Some time ago – back when I lived in Texas – I had food allergies and was allergic to wheat. One day my co-workers decided that we should go to Subway for lunch and I went along. When we got there I saw their sign advertising that they’d turn any sandwich into a salad. I really like philly cheesesteak, so I decided that ordering that cheesy goodness on a salad was worth the awkwardness. Once the salad was paid for I sat down and chuckled to myself. My co-worker Blader asked what I was laughing about and I told him that if I came back I’d order the meatball sub because that would be ridiculous. We laughed and moved onto other conversation.
The next day someone asked, “Where do you want to go to lunch?,” and Blader quickly answered, “Let’s go to Subway. Randy needs to order the meatball salad.” So we went. As I approached the counter I said, “This is going to sound weird but I’d like to order the meatball sub as a salad.” The guy didn’t skip a beat when he replied, “That’s OK, yesterday some person ordered a philly cheesesteak as a salad.”
Bacation, is a vacation with lots of bacon! Make today your national Bacation day! Thanks to my friend Joe for sharing this holiday with us!
Took the day off to hang with the folks who came into town this weekend and in simple celebratory discussion with my bro, we decided to coin the weekend “bacation”. One part bacon, two parts vacation! You can do it too, simply add bacon to any celebratory meal and wah-la “bacation” is born!!
Jessica is presently in the other room schooling the 4 year old. How did the girl turn 4?! Blows my mind. Anyway, she’s being schooled on greater than and less than and I think she’s got the concept down. It tends to really register once you put the lessons in candy form. Fortunately its autumn and the season calls for candy.
Next month I hope we can teach her pie charts with real pecan pie.
I’ve added one more blog to my wide array of places that I’m probably going to write fewer articles to. I’ve started a food blog because I’ve had some interesting reading lead to some different conclusions than I’ve been applying to my life in the last 8 weeks or so. If you’re not subscribed to the Planet Randy RSS feed you can check out the food site here. At that site you will read about what I’m thinking about food, food related projects such as home made bacon, gardening for fruits and veggies, and restaurants and recipes with good food. Also, food sources. Those are important.
Jessica has been suggesting I eat healthier foods for some time, but it wasn’t until I read “In Defense of Food” which Jason’s Deli sent me as part of a contest that I was shocked into action. If you want to see what motivated me so much you can get the book at the library or buy it on Amazon.com. I suggest it as good stimulating reading, but don’t do something because I did it, think about food yourself.
Admit you are powerless over your Food TV addiction
Believe that a power greater than Alton, Emeril, Paula and Rachel exists, and can restore your sanity
Make the dish, I mean decision, to turn all authority over to God
Make a fearless search of your pantry shelf self, morally
Admitted to God and others, but not including Tyler Ramsey, the exact nature of yourself
Be ready for God to remove the defects of your chiffon character
Humbly ask God to remove your shortcakes shortcomings, and maybe break your TV remote on the Discovery channel. Mythbusters is safer than Good Eats.
Make a grocery list of all the people we harmed, maybe bake them an apology cake
Apologize to them, include gift cake, also bring celebratory home made ice cream, unless they’re diabetic
Continue to make ingredient inventory, and when you are wrong or unsure, buy extra
Pray for God’s will in your kitchen and television, and all other areas of your life
We try to carry this message across the internet to other addicts by digging it, stumbling it, or otherwise twittering it
At the end of the above video is a grape letting off a gaseous flame. I showed the above video to an 11 year old boy and he announced, “Oh! They made it better!” In boy terms there is nothing better than first making flames from a grape in a microwave – except to be able to make the flames float up in succession. That’s just magical.
I began the ribs for Father’s Day dinner. They will be absorbing wonderful flavor from the rub* for over 24 hours and then Saturday they will start the cooking process. They’ll be smoked with pecan chips. Which is to say that the ribs will be smoked until just shy of temperature and then finished on Sunday afternoon to make sure that they’re still moist and yet pass FDA requirements for human consumption. We’ll be heating for dinner in an apple juice/jack daniels bath, which adds even more flavor. Yummy! I’ve yet to determine whether we’ll be having the espresso barbecue sauce, or some other sauce. We might even depart from the norm and offer two sauces. It will be father’s day of course, which means that we’ll be making other tasty treats, but I don’t have a final menu off the top of my head.
* For those of you who live in or visit Texas, I got the base rub recipe from the guys who cater the company barbecue events and its just awesome of them to share. Email me and I’ll get you the recipe. If you’re not part of the inner sanctum, I cannot share, sorry 🙂
Warning: this post contains lots of non sequiturs, I’m tired, and non sequiturs make me chuckle when I’m tired. I’d ask if you follow what I”m saying except that that’s what a non sequitur is. Elephants wander through the African planes and such.
Both girls have been in a mild to extreme melt-down mode since coming home from Indiana. I’m pretty sure this is due to the fact that Jessica and I have also been in punt mode. We’ve had a lot going on and when that happens we end up punting a lot. If you’re not familiar with the punt analogy it ties in with the popular American sport called American Football. Its called American Football because the rest of the world calls it American Football because they had a sport called football long before the Americans who took Rugby, Football, Sumo Wrestling and the Civil War and combined them together so that only very fast, large men (and now, apparently fast, large women) can mash into one another like two over-loaded sports cars while one smaller, but still huge man attempts to throw the ball to another smaller, not as huge man who runs even faster than the other fast runners in an attempt to not be killed by oncoming fast, large men. This is, in short, American Football.
In American Football there’s a really nice thing that happens: the teams share the ball and take turns having ‘possession’ of the ball. Possession is a loose term because each team could find themselves running with the ball, in fear of being creamed by the other team, lose the ball and then do what’s called fumbling the ball and then recovering the dropped ball, which means that they might still have possession even though they temporarily did not have possession. After enough time lapses where the team who had possession didn’t do anything useful with the ball, they might have what’s called a fourth down. The fourth down follows the first through third down. The number of downs you have depends on the number of severely injured fowl you have as well as fouls that may have been committed by players added together with the number of yards the football has traveled in a subjectively positive direction. Upon the fourth down, if the team who has possession of the ball decides that they’re too close to the scoring end-zone of the opposing team they can do what’s called punting. Punting is to kick the ball to the other end of the field but not into the scoring end-zone, just up close to it. The returning, opposing team then catches the ball and the player who catches the ball hopefully runs a long, long way so that they get back closer to the original end-zone so that they can get a touchdown. A touchdown has nothing to do with the downs mentioned earlier. So the punt is a scrambled maneuver that is only done to prevent the other team from scoring and is generally looked at as a last resort maneuver.
Since Jessica and I have been resorting to the punt for the last couple weeks due to some unforeseen circumstances, work, and a general sense of being whelmed (not over or under, but relatively pegged) the girls have probably felt like the football being kicked from one end of the field as we play American Football with each day. This is why Evelyn threw a screaming temper tantrum as we were entering the fine Costco store this evening to collect small, specific bits of food for Father’s Day this weekend. Food that will keep us going in our punting, punting that will keep us from scoring, but keep the other team from scoring. Scoring which makes us like John Williams, who does not play American Football.