Praying for Spam

I have been getting some interesting blog spam lately.  It doesn’t get published because of Akismet, but the latest rash has been coming from a ‘guy’ named ‘gary’ who has any number of problems that need prayer, but most involve the word pray or prayer an inordinate amount of times and usually also involve ‘DD’ in the content.  Maybe ‘Gary’ needs a breast enhancement and is raising money to do so via blog spam.  Example:

URGENT………………..

Kindly request to have prayer groups passing on praying the wisdom and strength from God for 9 to 20 departments need to be assisted to reach DD by Aug 2008. My family are in a financial difficulty and need to seek for ways of confronting with wisdom and ways.Let the honor to God
(from: Gary)

Maybe I should pray for ‘Gary’ to have a supernatural man-boob growth so that he’ll stop spamming my blog.  Of course the problem with that is that ‘Gary’ might then just spamming my blog comments with weird trans-gender link requests instead.  So maybe I should pray that God would give ‘Gary’ access to a good counselor or a friendlier inmate.  I don’t want to make too many assumptions, but an inmate would definitely be involved with some places that want men with ‘DD’.

Spam is one of those blessings within a curse because you hate the spam, but it brings such immense humor with it.  I think that we should kill all the spammers, but after they’re dead they should be forced to go out on stage at comedy clubs and then further forced to read out loud their emails.  Well, some of them anyway, I don’t think we need some of the more perverse letters read, but you could go with any number of the financial transaction spams and get people rolling.

2008 Birthday and Christmas Wishlist: Buy A Farm!

This year for my birthday and Christmas I would like to make a donation to World Vision to have a family, or families, gifted farm animals.  I sure could use some new pants, a new computer and things that I can afford myself on my birthday and at Christmas, but I’d rather open a card that says, “We got someone else a goat for you!”  I can’t milk a goat very fast, but there are plenty of families that could use a goat and would be able to milk it almost as fast as my dad used to be able to milk a cow.  But that’s another story.

You can look into donating animals to families at World Vision’s site here. Work with me this year to gift a farm animal, or partial ownership of a farm animal, to a third world family that could really use the help of an animal.

I Have a Problem

I have a problem: I start things.  The problem isn’t that I start things and don’t finish them, its that I start things.  If I didn’t start things I wouldn’t start them and not finish them.  The problem isn’t in the finishing because I’ve finished lots of things I’ve started.  The problem is that there’s a bottleneck in the starting part.  That’s why my New Years resolution is to finish everything I’ve started to date and NOT start anything else.  This list of things to finish includes the door I’m in process of replacing, waterproofing our grout in the bathrooms, several small programming projects, and a large slew of other things I’ve really, really got to finish.

There it is.  What’s yours?

The Conclusion of This Year’s New Years Resolution: FAIL

I did not record an album this year.  I did not even record it after my birthday, but still in 2007.  This year saw lots of other things take priority.  However, there are lots of things left to do in 2007 before 2008 kicks off and I have to declare another resolution which I will probably fail at.

This year I did lose 30 pounds.  That’s a good place to start.

This year I did make my family a higher priority.

This year I kissed Jessica approximately five bazillion times… which is still far short of my lifetime achievement goal of infinity.

This year I watched Abby and Evie do some firsts like school, potty training (which is going well for the most part), and of course taking them both sledding together for the first time.  I have no proof of the sledding, but cameras and water are often enemies.  Or at least my camera doesn’t like water.  I know, because I asked it.

This year has been a good year – but its time for me to go to bed for the last time in 2007 so that I can work the last day of 2007 tomorrow and then kick of new years by sleeping in or something.

Thankful Thursday: Christmas Time

I loves me some Christmas time.  Once I get past the fear of having purchased the worst possible gift for Jessica I enjoy the time.  I have a psychological disorder that probably has a name but I don’t know it, so I’ll call it GivingJessicaTheWrongPresentPhobia.  I am always afraid she’ll open up the present and say, “You got me this?!  I hate this!  It is the worst present ever given on a holiday other than the time that you didn’t ask me out on Valentines day.”  This fear is not a legitimate fear, but the part of my man-brain that second guesses every thing I do in regards to Jessica works over time there and is always on vacation when I say something that causes an argument.

We had a great time with family and even got to video chat with some family in other parts of the country.  I loves me some Skype, too!  I was able to get a mere 5 hours of sleep or so the night of Christmas Eve, but that was OK, too.  We had an enjoyable Christmas eve service at church as well.  You can listen to the recording of the MP3 here.

I am thankful for my family yet again, and I’m also thankful for the thoughtful gifts that I received – I hope nobody else has GivingRandyTheWrongPresentPhobia 😉

i-wanna-be-green-in-UR-checkout-line

So I saw a granola boy try to pick up on the checker at the granola store today as I was buying supplements for my wife.  Only he was a wannabe granola boy.  He was wannabe once he started to flap his jaw and reveal his ignorance of environmental things.  Here’s how the story played out (with my colored commentary because this is my blog):

Granola boy (GB): Hey, I like your hat!

Checker (C): Thanks.

GB: Did someone make it?

C: No, I got it at [some store with a name like ‘Twisters’, but I don’t recall exactly]

COMMENTARY: Someone had to make it.  The last time I heard mushroom caps were not being produced as headware.  It may have been an under-privileged child in a third world country – but someone made it.

C: Do you want paper or plastic?

GB: /leaning over counter/ Um, its going to be heavy, huh?

C: I guess.

GB: Plastic.  We need to figure out what we’re going to do with all of the plastic bags we already have.  When are we going to start caring?

COMMENTARY: Doh!  Stupidest dumb self-defeating thing GB could have said at the end is about his lack of caring to know that there are bag recycling programs at most major supermarkets – and they don’t care what stores names are on the bags.  Furthermore, two paper bags would have held what he had and he could also have recycled those.  Or put them in a worm compost pit.  The worms mix the paper with the soil and turn it into rich, good for your plants, soil.

C: Yeah.

GB:  God bless. /walks away/

I slid into my position in front of the register

GB: /comes back/ maybe we can find some worm or something that could eat the bags /walks away/

I figured that C was smart enough to know this guy was talking out of his bum so I didn’t continue on the discussion – she didn’t need me to tell her that the guy was dumber than the dirt he seemed to care about so much.  It is good to be living in Colorado and be able to see that the people are not as granola as the nation thinks.  Maybe we could find some worms to eat people like that?

Friday Grab Bag ‘O’ Stuff

This last week has been quite a week.  Its been a week where I have had ups, downs, sideways, diagonals, and hobbitses.  This week they announced that there will be two new J.R.R. Tolkien based films.  Peter Jackson will be producing, but not directing.

I got to do help participate in the potty training of Evie.  Which is going.

I got to give some feedback to a client that I felt needed to be stated, even if it wasn’t popular.

I got to go to the doctor regarding my parasite.  The doctor didn’t quite believe I have a parasite even though I have the lab results to show that I did, in the past, have a parasite – maybe its gone now.  I’m skeptical.

I got to hug and kiss my wife and tell her that I love her.  That’s important and good to do.

I got to hug and kiss my girls and tell them that I love them.  That’s also important and good to do.

Lots of other stuff happened.

Merry Christmas a few days early – which I’ll repeat on the actual day of celebration.