Today I got to have Indian food for the first time that I recall. That’s India the country type Indians, not Native Americans or any other slang that might be floating about. It was quite tasty and in the end I find myself now loathing the fact that I had seconds of what seemed like mild curry. I think that I want to have more later, but I’ll have to find something good and tasty in Denver so that I can enjoy Indian food again at home. Jessica just might like it, too.
Hotel Follies
Yeah! Hotels are so fun to stay at alone. I’m loving ‘going home’ to be by myself. Last night I was watching Emiril Live and realized that
- There is absolutely nothing on television worth watching at night on ‘basic cable.’
- Emiril is the Benny Hinn of Food Television. He works that crowd like a seasoned manipulator.
Written Yesterday at the Airport
Today at the airport I watched as a male ‘security’ guard had the wrapped attention of three female gatekeepers. That is three women were listening to him tell them about whatever he was saying. Kindly lending him their attention.
In an attempt at humor he yelled out to one of the pilots or co-pilots (uniform wearer that looked authoritative), “Autveterstien! I think that’s ‘hello’ in Korean!” Chuckles went all around the small group. Dang, that’s just not funny. Sometimes I’ll be responsible for that sort of humor, but I’m embarrassed by it now and will work to keep the humor of a higher quality.
Last night I watched Napoleon Dynamite with Jessica at the recommendation of my brother and a mutual friend, Michael Nelsen. Whoa! Really, really not what I expected. Most of what is funny is the awkwardness of the actor. However, there’s no intensely strong moments in the movie. It comes and goes, but the dull life of the main character, ironically named, Waterloo Fuse* is just awkward. There’s strange humor involved, but its more of the subtle, “that would be a funny thing to have as a side joke,” sort of way instead of the laugh your head off because frankly that just is the funniest thing I’ve seen since [some funny event in your life here]. The movie continually built up to a place where I was ready for a great whity line, a funny moment or a great heroic thing. However, the movie builds up to one moment of stage flapping. It was almost as funny as I expected the whole movie to be with the hype that the movie had gotten from some and the hype that my brother and Mike gave it. So, in the end, it was well worth my two hours in comparison to (you knew this was coming) Eks Verses Sever (Balistic).
Now, this wouldn’t be a fare review if I didn’t give some constructive criticism so I’m going to offer the writers and directors some ideas:
- Please don’t rely on duldrums to emphasize the mundane
- Please consider using jokes in movies that are supposed to be funny. Bike crashes that place the protagonist’s groin up against the post of his buddy’s bicycle are not enough to carry the whole movie.
- Please bring in more actual dialog. Sure, teenagers often feel awkward, and sometimes the thoughts of a teenager are hard to speak, but I’m pretty sure that what was said in the movie could have been augmented with an actually full script.
Apologies to the actual writers, actors and directors if I’ve just crushed your egos (yeah, right). I’m highly impressed with the concept of your movie. There was incredible potential in this movie, there really was. I just didn’t get to laugh like I expected.
* not really. However, Waterloo was the end of Napoleon and a fuse usually will do in a stick of dynamite… or so I’m told.
Funny Quote of the Second
On the ashtray outside of the Alt-N office is a small 3M sticky note that reads:
After staring at all of these butts I’m starting to feel like a proctologist.
Sure, it’s slightly off color, but nothing more than a very slight tan and, I don’t care for smoking…
Amusing Search Terms of February 2005
Since I keep track of the phrases words and things that people search for and somehow get to my site I have got to share with you some of the more interesting or brilliant terms:
- butt brain [back at you!]
- Egg Bungee Chord Software [I don’t recommend using software with eggs]
- Abraham Lincoln Cross Dresser [No, I think not]
- Jamie Lynn Spears’ cellphone number [Sorry, I don’t have that. Actually, no, I’m not sorry I don’t have that]
- How can I sing louder? [try opening your mouth wider and using more diaphram intensity]
- How do I contact Tim Lahaye? [I don’t recommend it]
- Shrek parody [Shrekis a parody!]
- Pick your nose [Done. so now what do you want me to do.]
- Chicken Pnang [Watch your language!]
- Gouge, eye, funny [Um, actually it’s not funny]
I I* 2K5
Well, this morning I’m leaving for my first trip to Texas in 2005 (that’s what that cryptic abbreviation in the title means: First lone star, 2005). I’m going to be working closely with Matt, another contractor based in MI. We’re going to wrap up some work, figure out what’s left, and hopefully enjoy some work-like social interaction. Normally all my work-like social interaction happens via instant messaging. Yeah for small trips like this!
See you in in 7 or 8 hours (I’m flying, but I’ve got prep time, get to a Inkernet [SIC] connection time and saying ‘Hi’ time).
Fantasy Coffins
Fantasy coffins are not really something that I expected to find in life. Mostly because I don’t fantasize about coffins. Sure, sometimes I think about death, but not in the same stream of consciousness as coffins I will be buried in.
Well, I hope you find yourself well adjusted and highly likely to buy a ‘normal’ coffin after viewing the hammer, pineapple and other such lovely burial encasements.
Please burn me up after I die.
Via Dave Barry.
FogTower
The building across the street from my office. I love the fog, I love towers in the fog. I love the fade, the contrast and the depth that is created. The top of the tower is almost visible, but it looks like it could go on higher.
Tips on Photographing Children
Photographing children is tough, especially when I’m photographing Abby. I recommend that if you’re going to photograph children that you sedate them with strong, doctor prescribed, medications. Make part of your initial consultation a direct instruction for sedatives. Worst case scenario you discover that the client doesn’t want to use you. because you’re a drug dependent hack.
Legal Disclaimer:
This is satire. I do not in any way suggest that people really use drugs to limit the mobility of children, cause children to obey, sleep, wake up, breath or anything else. Say no to drugs. Unless you’re diabetic or have issues with depression, cancer, HIV/AIDS, hypertension, heart disease, gum disease, certs disease or any other disease of the small breath freshener variety. As the father of a two year old I strongly encourage you to never run with scissors, play doctor in a co-ed situation, run by the pool, run in the street, run for president or wear pantyhose with a run in it. Furthermore I won’t tolerate any sort of comment suggesting that this isn’t right. Nor is it left. In fact if you’re right handed, left handed or ambidextrous I don’t care. Except for if you’re left handed and I’m married to you. You know who you are.
Self Portraiture
Part of the redesign of this site is the need for more detail about how, when, where, who and any other such inquisitive things behind Randy Peterman Digital Research and Development. It means that I need a portrait so that people will look and say, “My goodness, just look at that man, he’s so brilliant looking. I’m sure he can code that project in 30 seconds just by using ESP.” So, this evening, while Jessica watched ‘Mean Girls’ I took some rather different pictures. I want something that looks good in black and white, I don’t want color because I think black and white requires more texture and character in the image, something that I want in a biographical picture.
However, this three-headed image below is not quite right. The Nikon 5700 has one inherent flaw: it adds a lot of noise to the image while it takes the shot if there’s really low lighting. Given that I wanted a high contrast, low lighting image, there was a lot of noise. So, in short I’m going to have to do this again, and possibly with Jessica’s help. I hope she can tolerate my perfectionism in self-portrature. After all, if you’re your own worst critic, then I’ll be my own worst critic more worser when I’m critically analyzing myself… or something like that.
