Photographing children is tough, especially when I’m photographing Abby. I recommend that if you’re going to photograph children that you sedate them with strong, doctor prescribed, medications. Make part of your initial consultation a direct instruction for sedatives. Worst case scenario you discover that the client doesn’t want to use you. because you’re a drug dependent hack.

Legal Disclaimer:
This is satire. I do not in any way suggest that people really use drugs to limit the mobility of children, cause children to obey, sleep, wake up, breath or anything else. Say no to drugs. Unless you’re diabetic or have issues with depression, cancer, HIV/AIDS, hypertension, heart disease, gum disease, certs disease or any other disease of the small breath freshener variety. As the father of a two year old I strongly encourage you to never run with scissors, play doctor in a co-ed situation, run by the pool, run in the street, run for president or wear pantyhose with a run in it. Furthermore I won’t tolerate any sort of comment suggesting that this isn’t right. Nor is it left. In fact if you’re right handed, left handed or ambidextrous I don’t care. Except for if you’re left handed and I’m married to you. You know who you are.