Category Archives: News

Things, Goings On, and Stuff I write

Next Superman Movie to Be Filmed in Australia

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In this article Brandon Routh is Superman you can read that the filming of the next Superman movie will be taking place in Australia. I expect Phil Boardman to keep us all abreast of the latest Superman filming happenings since Australia is so small 😉 My only fear in all of this is that we’ll get a Superman movie that has Paul Hogan (Crocodile Dundee), Steve Erwin (The Crocodile Hunter) and a CGI Christopher Reeves (if you don’t know who this is then you’ve obviously not seen the news that ‘the original’ Superman died*) all with cameos.

* or that his wife cheapened his death recently by throwing his name around at a John Kerry rally – sorry about that, I was just disgusted by this lame political maneuver and what looked like a disrespectful action on her part.

Watch them ‘Subjunct’

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In the English language we have several different moods a verb can convey two critical moods are subjunctive and indicative. It is important that you understand what those two moods reflect on the factual nature of a statement. A subjunctive mood implies a contingent or hypothetical nature for the statement. For example the statement, “I might have said that,” implies uncertainty and is very non-commital. Indicative is very fact based and attempts to state things with a definite feeling. This doesn’t make the sentence true by itself but it does convey some sense of certainty. You might here someone say, “I didn’t say that,” and give a feeling that the statement was not correctly quoted.

Now, why do I care about grammar? Greek class for one, but also because the politicians are heaping great amounts of trash onto the bonfire of American politics trying to use smoke and jeerers to position themselves higher in innacurate polls and public opinion. What I’d suggest, other than attempting to actually listen, even if it’s to the party you don’t favor, is that you diagram sentences, analyze what is being said/spewed and listen for words that are indicative or subjunctive. Not only will this help you here and now with the upcoming election, but if you get selected for a jury you’ll be extra cool and you can wow the other jurors with your slick hair and grammatical pontifications.

Postal Presents

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We have a United States Post Office delivery person (is that Politically Korrect enough?) who is friendly and thinks Abby’s cute. Therefore whenever something arrives 7th class mail and says, “To XXXX or Current Resident” he kindly scratches out the resident’s name and circles ‘or current resident’ and then places things that might be of interest to Abby in our mailbox. This cracks me up as we have gotten a huge number of catalogs for children’s toys as well as a bunch of samples. While I know that this isn’t the normal course of action I have to say that the companies couldn’t have better focused marketing as this guy knows his route well enough to know that Jane Doe (retired) is less likely to want the mass mailing catalog for Toys ‘L’ Us. The other side of this is that we have a cupboard full of individual samples of diapers that we won’t be able to use until kiddo #2 comes. Oh, and he also dropped off quite a nice razor that was shipped out as a sample for me… I don’t know if that’s a hint or he figured that the woman who was the initial recipient didn’t want the mens razor. Seeing as how I don’t shave my legs I don’t know if it matters what gender your razor is 🙂

Arnold Appleseed?

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If you’re not familiar with an Arnold Palmer, sometimes called an Arnie (but not in reference to the the Governator), it is a drink. It is half Lemonade and half Iced Tea (with capital letters, apparently). Well, I have been drinking within the last 6 months or so a similar concoction which is one quarter to half apple juice and the rest being Iced Tea (with capital letters, apparently). However, I don’t have a good name for it. So, what I’m asking for is a name for this ‘new drink.’ What should I/we call this tasty libation? By the way, some flavors of Iced Tea (with capital letters, apparently) do not work with apple juice, that is a warning in case you find yourself suffering from a headache after trying peppermint Iced Tea (yeah, yeah, you get it already) with apple juice in it. Or, if you try this drink and you get diarrhea, dry or itchy nose, drowsiness, heartburn or inflamed feet as medical side effects, it wasn’t my idea.

So, what would you call it? Remember Texas Iced Tea is already taken and Colorado Iced Tea sounds lame.

Engrish Acronyms

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If you’ve not read engrish.com, one of my personal favorites for a good laugh, then you should go check it out now while I sit here and wait.

[Still waiting]

[Waiting some more]

[Gosh darn you’re a slow reader]

OK, I’m glad you’re back! Funny stuff, huh? This last week in Texas my friend Mike told us a story about a heavy metal concert he went to back in the day and there was a band there from Japan that totally blew the audience away. Not with their music mind you, but with their Engrish. They came out onto the stage and yelled, “LOCK and LOLL!” As Mike tells the story he can’t recall the actual headliner band he went to see, but this band is stuck in his head from now until he dies or the Mannheim Steamroller sets in. So, as I was chatting with another friend tonight I realized that there was a whole area of confusion to exploit: Engrishized acronyms. For example:

ROR
Raughing Out Roud. Use this in place of LOL with your friends to help keep them on their toes (or finger tips if you will)
BLB
Be Light Back. Use this one when you’ve got to go to the potty and need to tell your frenz about it. There’s nothing quite like knowing someone is going to the bathroom at some remote location
LOFR
Lolling On the Froor Raughing. This one is even more intense than ROR and should be reserved for highly funny engrish.
ROTL
Rold Of The Lings, a famous movie reference. You can’t go wrong with Flodo, Aligoln, Gimri, Regoras, and Gandarph set out on an adventure only to be helped by Gorrum in the end. Oh, and Samwise, too, but his name doesn’t Engrishize well.

Roper is Released

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<shameless plug>It has been some time since I’ve mentioned Five Iron Frenzy. Well, I am not mentioning them in this post. Nope, I’m mentioning the descendent band Roper. They have a new album out Brace Yourself for the Mediocre. I have listened to samples and am going to get it within the next couple days (get it the first week to help them rank on sound scan). </end shameless plug>

So I don’t plug on a weekly basis but this band is really cool, plus they’re from Denver, which makes them nifty on all sorts of scales. Even fish scales.

Shell Shocked

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I think this picture accurately shows the absolute shock that comes over parents at times. Particularly parents of two-year olds.

Parenting is Shocking
Abigail had ‘the runs’ today, which caused her pain and discomfort. We don’t like it when she’s sick or hurting because most of the time it is completely out of our control. What was shocking about this experience was the absolutely bizaare instinct that Abigail showed each time she’d have an accident (every time but once today… uggghhh). The instinct that kicked in for her was removing her panties, pull-ups or whatever else happened to be around her bottom no matter where she was. This gave the opportunity for messes way beyond our sickest dreams. However, Jessica, being a good working-class, blue collar, do-it-yourself-er took care of the mess. This made me look like an insensitive guy. Of course this isn’t completely out of character, but I work for cash-money during the day which puts me at a distinct disadvantage. Jessica on the other hand works for no money but probably puts in more manual labor than most construction workers (which may be an unfair comparison given that I always see them on break).

However, that being said, the shock of parenting gets outweighed by the wonderfulness of snuggles, kisses and “I love you’s” from this little girl.

Back in CO

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Now that I’ve gotten back into Colorado I’ve got to readjust to Mountain Time as well as not staying up too late. However, that won’t be too hard because the jet lag made me tired.

Jessica told me a funny story regarding Abigail that I just have to share: Abby was on the potty and asked if I had an ‘agina.’ Jessica told her I did not. She then asked if Ice Cream had an ‘agina.’ I don’t know that I’ll be able to eat ice cream again 🙂 Of course Abby comes by it honestly because at about 5 or so I got to watch a steer (castrated bull) get butchered and I asked my mom if every single piece of cow they removed from the carcass was a uterus.