As Jess didn’t say
there are plenty of maps out there. Are we done with them yet?The Election result maps here are kinda funky, it’s like they crossed a map with Stretch Armstrong. In the end I’d like to see the country move on and get back to one of the following things:

• Get back to the basics. Can we please all turn Amish so that the reality TV shows can stop?
• Pull our money out of the stock market and buy more cars and homes. It is clear that the government is going to do it all wrong anyway, so if they can be irresponsible and just ‘spend, spend, spend’ without saving, why can’t we?
• All buy camcorders and walk around recording ourselves and create our own public access reality TV shows. What could be more real than recordings of our lives condensed into 30 minute segments. Just think about the conversations you could get out of when you get home.
  Person1: “What did you do today?”
  Person2: “Let me edit it for you… Geez, getting a little impatient aren’t we, Person1?!”
• Take up a musical instrument. If everyone in America played the nose flute the world would be a safer place. Imagine a terrorist landing on US soil and being greeted by Hare Krishna skinhead types with nose flutes. They’d never be able to blow things up or email ricin because they’d be laughing so hard.
• Everyone get a blog. Wait. Everyone has a blog. Well not everyone, but a lot of people have them. What’s worse is that they don’t put content on them. Or if they do put content on them it’s stuff like:
  <teen blog>
  Today I brushed my teeth before breakfast just to irritate my mom. She is so lame. U have 2 C her to Blieve it. Talk 2 U l8r.
  </teen blog>
  <My blog>
  <– Some story about Abby having a potty accident. A sarcastic blog entry. Or something else I’ve managed to write about, including ‘Women of Walmart’ and Women of Home Depot’, oh, and don’t forget ‘Banana Phone.’ –>
  </My blog>

  On second thought, lets all stop blogging and we’ll go back to old-fashioned email lists, that’s way easier.

So, as you can see, Election Result Maps politics are over for America for at least two or three minutes. Let’s stop, enjoy it, and then get back to coloring in the lines, particularly if there are lines outlining 48 contiguous states. Can we please just pick some other colors besides Red, Whine and Blue?