Randy Peterman is writing this, he is writing about himself in third person.
That’s ridiculous – why do I need to write about myself in the third person?
OK, well, I’m going to tell you about myself.
Please don’t hesitate to write me to ask other pertinent questions about me.
Limit those questions to things that are NOT perverse or socially questionable.

That being said…

I was born to two parents, a male and female.
They go by Vern and Nancy Peterman and they also have two other progeny, Eddie and Rebecca.
Because Eddie and Rebecca are like me they don’t go by their full names, they go by Ed and Becky respectively.
Sometimes Ed goes by ‘Dude’ and sometimes Becky goes by ‘My’.
Sometimes Ed goes by in a VW, sometimes My goes by in a Honda.
Time goes by rather quickly unless you’re in the Doctor’s waiting room.

[Switching to free flow poetry]

Ed, 
  My 
	and I 
  grew up mostly in California and Nevada.
    We had
     times on the road that took us
  to other
    states.
We have grandparents
  they have many   many   kids that are 
	 grand
	

[Switching to Dr. Suess mode]

	Ed, My and I
	Bye, we said good-bye
	To our mom and pop
	Out of the nest we'd hop
	

	Randy Married Jessica
	Got married in October-a
	Squiggle, wiggle, piggle, slid
	Moved to Texas Yes we did
	

[Switching to Yoda mode]

		Married Shari did Eddie, Yes.
		Have a son Brennan they do.
		Live in Carson City, yes, they must.
	

[Switching to Haiku Mode]

Becky to Denver
Lives with My Parents There Now
Making a new home
	

I’m blessed to have a beautiful, godly wife, a precious, cute daughter, and an amazing extended family (some of which have the ‘shock and awe’ effect :D).