My uncle is a former programmer turned Pastor/Elder at a church in Norther California. I sent him a funny MP3 about doing tech support and he said it reminded him of a situation he was in.

Eric Peterman: One woman called me screaming that the state report wasn’t working. After a series of questions I determined that….
Eric Peterman: All semester long she hadn’t been entering any student records in!
Randy Peterman: Oh NO!
Eric Peterman: Another called to complain that “it wasn’t working.”
Me: Have you started the program?
her: Program…
Me: Yes, the Selpa Manager Program. Have you started it?
her: Started it…
Her: How do I start it?
Me: Uh, you double click on it?
Her: Double-Click on it…
Me: Yes, to start it you click it with the mouse.
Her: Um, mouse?
Me: Yes, on the desktop.
Her: The stapler is on the desktop and my cofee. There is no mouse!
Randy Peterman: This appears to only get worse!
Eric Peterman: Yes!
Eventually I got down to:
Me: Is the computer on?
Her: On?
Randy Peterman: Ha ha ha!
Eric Peterman: Needless to say, she got quickly promoted within the district and we got someone much more competent and at a lower pay.

You have to love real life, you just can’t make this stuff up.