Jessica, my lovely bride, subscribes to Martha Stewart: Living. Which, for the last 5 months has been really different because as you all know she’s been in jail smuggling food and teaching the inmates how to spruce up their cells. There’s nothing like opening up what used to be a home and cooking magazine to find articles on “Bars: How to keep a lustrous shine on one of your four walls.” However, what really concerns me is how Martha Stewart is reportedly 63 and yet when I see pictures of her she looks no more than 45. What’s her secret?

Did she make a pact with the Stay-Puffed marshmallow man so that she’ll stay young instead of puffed? Does she use one of the many rejuvenating products that are advertised in her magazine? Or, is she really like Oprah who has a rather warn older looking face but before each show they put on a pound of makeup and she looks like her usually, jovial, talk-show self? Maybe she made a pact with El Diablo and for each month she was in prison he took 5 years off of her appearance age-wise. Or, and I think this has the highest chance of being the reason: She’s had herself cloned.

There are actually three Martha Stewarts in various stages of disrepair, a fourth is in the works so that she’ll still look 45 when the first two have been dead for some time. Of course this means that she’ll never have her own postage stamp because you have to be dead for ten years to have your own postage stamp, and with the cloning she’ll never actually be dead the way most people have been dead in the past. Of course she’ll be in good company, the Dali Lama keeps getting reincarnated so he can’t have a postage stamp either.

What’s your guess?