Polly Shore, one of America’s most famous not-so-funny comedians (apologies to those of you who really, really enjoyed him) was in the movie “Encino Man,” and in that movie he used the phrase, “Wheezing the juice,” while inside of a quickie-mart type establishment. Write now I’m feeling like my juice has been wheezed. I haven’t written anything good and funny in a while and I’m not 100% sure why.
As my buddy Trint said, I need to get downtown so that I can see the inspiring sites. Basically I’ve got to get out more. I’m in a routine now where my evenings are spent running errands at places like Target or going to the chiropractor. Those are two incredibly hilarious places, let me tell you. No, don’t let me tell you. There isn’t anything to tell. Last night I had Bible Study, which was good, but its not good for comedic material per se. I’ve had some Mormons visit me the last few weeks and I’ve gotten together with them, but they just make me angry because they refuse to engage their brains – their whole religious system is based on turning off their brains.

So, I’m going to try to be extra observant at the mall this weekend as we try to actually get all of our Christmas shopping done in one day. And then come home and write the funniest thing I’ve ever written.