There is a meme going around the internets wherein people are revealing 100 things about them in 100 days.  I’m shallow or something because I can hardly think of one thing to tell people about me in one day let alone one hundred.  So, therefore I’ve shortened mine to a managable list.  Today’s nifty thing about Randy that should scare the pooh-pooh out of people is:

I often tell people I’m a horrible liar [when the conversation mysteriously goes that direction].  I then go on with a story about my mom telling me and my cousin not to go down to the corner store and buy candy when we’re done with our paper routes and then we did anyway but we ate all of the candy before going inside – my mom walked outside to find my cousin cramming the last of the junk into his face and I got in trouble.  But the truth is that that is a lie.  Not the story about me and my cousin, but the truth is that I would lie to the judge and jury [not really if I ever go to court] if I thought it was a good joke.  I love a good joke and so if deception is part of the joke at first, I could boldly, blatantly and smilingly lie to impact the humor of the punch line.

This has, of course, backfired on me a few times like when I was in college and my friends were at another college.  I called up my friend Robin and told her that Jessica and I were alloping. That was all good and fun until my other friend, Sean, said that it really hurt her and that she was crying in the middle of her college classes.  Furthermore my ex-girlfriend Cindy was Robin’s roommate and Cindy, probably hating my guts or looking for a way to get back at me, corroborated with Sean and said that Robin had been all broken up about it.  In the end my accomplice, Sean, had turned the tables on me and got me all broken up about hurting Robin… lies are from the devil.

And if my girls ever read this: I know the truth about every lie you’ve ever told me – be afraid, be very afraid.