Category Archives: Funny

Goofy, off-the-wall or silly things I might find or think.

Confession: I Love Make-Over Shows. Sort Of.

Posted on by

I really dig make-over shows. I don’t like the shows as much as I like the before and after stuff. I would totally love to have a network dedicated to them. Except that I’d have to record the shows and watch them like I do today. That is that I watch them in fast forward. I like about thirty seconds of the show which is where they show you the before and after. Thirty minutes of TV is now about thirty seconds of TV and that’s where I’m good. I don’t need a second more. I know all of the tricks that they do on the shows so I don’t need to see the bloody surgery parts, the tooth whitening or the botox.

I’m good enough with the before and after shots – because I’m currently living in the current before and after now. I’m not likely to be extremely made over. But I’m likely to be extremely fast on my TV watching.

Sitting in the Waiting Room

Posted on by

My brain is still on vacation due to the last remaining strains of this cold I’ve had. After a week and a few days I had hoped I would be over this stupid thing. I somehow feel like its a side effect of running Windows or something. My anti-virus didn’t catch something.

Either way: we’re feeling somewhat better around here, its just that we’re not all better all the way. Evie and Abby will run and jump and play no matter what they feel like (other than the flu, which causes Evie to snuggle me just long enough to throw up on me), but they do sound mostly better. If all goes well they’ll be right as rain tomorrow and we’ll have to velcro them back up onto the wall in intervals to have things be quiet again 🙂

The Sickness: Part II

Posted on by

Tonight I got a new keyboard.  Its a new Apple Wireless thingy.  You see, I had to get a new one because the old one received the puke of a two year old.  I’m feeling sick, Jessica is feeling sick, Abby is feeling sick, and Evie is most definitely sick.  Even Kurt & Becky are under the weather.  The sickness is annoying to say the least.  We missed church, we missed being with some friends whom we wanted to see… but we didn’t miss going out to the grocery store to buy things that will hype us up so that we can feel half-awake instead of mostly dead.

I have to fly tomorrow morning (Monday) so I’m super-excited to spread germs, receive germs, and generally make those around me miserable or question the safety of my company.  The good thing is that this new keyboard should cause me great discomfort for a few days in the hands department so that at least most of me is funky instead of just one part.*

By the way, too much vitamin C is actually diarhea inducing.  I know this because in Jr. High I fed my friend too much vitamin C because he liked the ‘cherry’ flavor of the C I had.  Little did he know that his immune system would kill most anything with that boost, but the explosive gastro-intestinal boost would kill his chances of getting a girlfriend.  Sorry, Matt 🙂

*I’m used to an ergonomic keyboard and this is not, but since my laptop is also not ergo, its good to get used to the ‘old’ style as needed.

Ret Her Into Your Heart

Posted on by

Clearly I have not talent and someone this age starting out with this much talent is going to rock whatever Idol they have in their country. Simon Scowl should watch out.

While our friends the Masons are in China we’ll be thinking of them – and this video reminds me of the cuteness that is their blessed daughter Nadia, who will clearly also rock the world, but probably for World Vision and not for YouTube. Have fun Masons!

Thankful Thursdines Day

Posted on by

This Valentines day I will simply state that I am thankful for my bride. Yeah, I’ve been thankful for her before, but she does rock the Casbah. In fact, speaking of rock, Abby was surprised to learn that Jessica liked rock music. For some reason the constant kids music Jessica would play to pacify the children led Abby to believe that Jessica would prefer to listen to kids music and the cranky daddy was the one who liked rock music.

Turns out my Ska, Rock, Classic Rock, Alternative Rock and generally music loving wife isn’t as big on Backyardigans as Abby had first thought. I’m thankful for that, too!

Praying for Spam

Posted on by

I have been getting some interesting blog spam lately.  It doesn’t get published because of Akismet, but the latest rash has been coming from a ‘guy’ named ‘gary’ who has any number of problems that need prayer, but most involve the word pray or prayer an inordinate amount of times and usually also involve ‘DD’ in the content.  Maybe ‘Gary’ needs a breast enhancement and is raising money to do so via blog spam.  Example:

URGENT………………..

Kindly request to have prayer groups passing on praying the wisdom and strength from God for 9 to 20 departments need to be assisted to reach DD by Aug 2008. My family are in a financial difficulty and need to seek for ways of confronting with wisdom and ways.Let the honor to God
(from: Gary)

Maybe I should pray for ‘Gary’ to have a supernatural man-boob growth so that he’ll stop spamming my blog.  Of course the problem with that is that ‘Gary’ might then just spamming my blog comments with weird trans-gender link requests instead.  So maybe I should pray that God would give ‘Gary’ access to a good counselor or a friendlier inmate.  I don’t want to make too many assumptions, but an inmate would definitely be involved with some places that want men with ‘DD’.

Spam is one of those blessings within a curse because you hate the spam, but it brings such immense humor with it.  I think that we should kill all the spammers, but after they’re dead they should be forced to go out on stage at comedy clubs and then further forced to read out loud their emails.  Well, some of them anyway, I don’t think we need some of the more perverse letters read, but you could go with any number of the financial transaction spams and get people rolling.

I Have a Problem

Posted on by

I have a problem: I start things.  The problem isn’t that I start things and don’t finish them, its that I start things.  If I didn’t start things I wouldn’t start them and not finish them.  The problem isn’t in the finishing because I’ve finished lots of things I’ve started.  The problem is that there’s a bottleneck in the starting part.  That’s why my New Years resolution is to finish everything I’ve started to date and NOT start anything else.  This list of things to finish includes the door I’m in process of replacing, waterproofing our grout in the bathrooms, several small programming projects, and a large slew of other things I’ve really, really got to finish.

There it is.  What’s yours?

The Conclusion of This Year’s New Years Resolution: FAIL

Posted on by

I did not record an album this year.  I did not even record it after my birthday, but still in 2007.  This year saw lots of other things take priority.  However, there are lots of things left to do in 2007 before 2008 kicks off and I have to declare another resolution which I will probably fail at.

This year I did lose 30 pounds.  That’s a good place to start.

This year I did make my family a higher priority.

This year I kissed Jessica approximately five bazillion times… which is still far short of my lifetime achievement goal of infinity.

This year I watched Abby and Evie do some firsts like school, potty training (which is going well for the most part), and of course taking them both sledding together for the first time.  I have no proof of the sledding, but cameras and water are often enemies.  Or at least my camera doesn’t like water.  I know, because I asked it.

This year has been a good year – but its time for me to go to bed for the last time in 2007 so that I can work the last day of 2007 tomorrow and then kick of new years by sleeping in or something.