Category Archives: Humor

More Mexicans Agree…

I have had yet another Mexican food meal. This stuff is great! I’m going to import Mexican Texans to Colorado and just have them set up food establishments. I think it’ll catch on, we’ll call it REAL Mexican food. I think that we’ll also sell sombreros and Churros by the dozen. I will do the Mexica hat dance and eat more refried beans than is healthy, but it will be good.

Reproducing Legalese

It is now an important American tradition to require labels to restate the obvious. Obvous things like the ingredients of food products and that gluttony is probably a bad choice. With that in mind, I give you the label of a health food product made in Boulder, Colorado:
[Click to see the Nutballz wrapper, by reducing the size of the image to fit on this site I lost clarity].

For those of you who won’t click on that link out of fear or laziness or the fact that the name sounds naughty I’ll pass this along:
There are two warnings on this wrapper:

  1. There are 9grams of xylitol in Nutballz(TM), a sweetener derived from plant cellulose. (It is generally recommended that you do not exceed 50 grams of xylitol a day unless you want to poop!)
  2. Alert! This product contains nuts (duh)!

I had to buy just one package to prove that this was real. They don’t taste great, but they don’t taste bad either. They’re a rather typical ‘health’ food flavor. Bland.

Yoda: A Spineless Jedi ‘Master’

Has anyone else been highly troubled by the fact that in Star Wars Episode I Yoda outright says Anakin is an accident waiting to happen… but now in Episode III Anakin is sitting in on important Jedi meetings? I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I saw a video clip that showed such a thing. If you’re in charge of the safety of an entire universe and its use of the force, don’t you think you’d stand up to Ani, Obi and Queen Rama-lama-ding-dong?

Yoda: “Away from me, get this dark sided jedi, you must.”
Obi Juan: “No, Yoda, I’m 300% your size, you can’t tell me what to do.”
Yoda: “OK.”

Sure, he battles count doo-doo in the second movie in what is a very impressive re-enactment of the battle between Sauran and Gandolf from Lord of the Rings. Sure, Yoda has mastery over the force, but not the English language. Sure, he wears a burlap bag for a coat. Sure, he senses the force due to a high midichlorian count in his blood stream… but can he “Just say No!” Maybe they need a DARE program for Jedis.

Hi-Fi Satan

Well, we did it. We have gotten 666 tattooed onto our hands, on our foreheads and and our credit cards for good measure. OK, not really. We had basic cable installed. However, the first show that came up: Maurey Povich. That’s like having Satan beamed in on hi-fi.

I think that my favorite part will be the Jerry Springer Show at all hours of the day. Of course the televangelists come in clearly as well, and that’s just outright evil 😉

A Note to Readers

I just realized that I’ve been doing something for a long time. I’ve been toying with acronyms. I don’t know how Kosher it is to mess with acronyms, but at least 50% of the time you see an acronym, if you hold your mouse over it, the tooltip will not be the correct expansion of said acronym. For example, when you see TV in most posts it will actually have a tooltip that says something nasty like, “Rots your brains out” or “Run for the hills” or “I couldn’t think of anything witty for this.” So, when you see an acronym within the contents of this blog, please be careful. Just an FYI.

Resurrection Sunday

It’s here. The day that celebrates rabbits, eggs and excessive amounts of candy – well, one of the days, because there’s probably a great similarity with Halloween in that regard. However, similarly what were once the eve of all saints day and the celebration of the resurrection of God are now Hallmark Holidays [TM]. However, I do celebrate my risen Lord and welcome you to join me.

Have a good Holy-Day or a good holiday… but either way, avoid the tooth decay, brush regularly and floss even more regularly… at least once a month.