Jessica and I were discussing my birthday celebration yesterday evening. Last year I had some fantastic chili. This year I’d like the same. She asked if she should make a double batch. “Of Course,” I replied, “That way I can have leftovers for days. Or until my bowels give out.” We laughed good and hard about that, but I continued, “One day you’ll tell me I’ve stopped farting with great surprise on your face and I will look at you to tell you that I’ve actually lost my gastrointestinal tract to the destructive nature of the chili…” She thought that was a good idea. Well, the no farting part at least.
Category Archives: Confessions
Smells Like a Four Letter Word
So, as yet another surprise to my mother, I have eaten fish for the past two days. You see, I used to not like fish. At the present I’m still not a huge fish fan, but I can eat it and not throw up, so that’s a good thing. Yesterday while Abby was admiring the one shoed man, I was eating fish. Hot Fish, hot talapia to be exact. Or, for those of you who like to call it something else, St. Peter’s Fish or Hawaiian Sun Fish. However, today I smell like fish. My skin smells like fish and my nose smells fish constantly. I suppose that if I ate fish regularly this wouldn’t be an issue, but right now I’m just totally overwhelmed by the smell and am ready to take a break.
On the upside the fish oils contain fats that have been recently linked to prevention of alzheimers, which could be quite handy. Also, if I eat enough fish I will be able to grow gils and swim in the ocean like Kevin Costner – and we all know how cool that would be [the swimming, not being like Kevin Costner].
Christian Foundations Study
Tonight is the first Study in the new Christian Foundations Study we’re doing in Aurora. Its also the first adult Bible Study I’ve lead, so I’m a wee nervous. Not because I think I’ll fail but mostly because I’m used to questions that High Schoolers or Junior Highers/Middle Schoolers ask. I want this to be a great foundation study that will allow new/young believers to grow on. I’ve been a Christian since I was about 4 (I don’t know the exact date I asked Christ to be my savior – I don’t think I knew what a date was back then 🙂 ), but I’ve only grown as much as I have since I was about 20. Prior to that I was a a Christian without direction or understanding. I had been discipled some and had grown some but I had not been equipped. Having the understanding to start growing through your own personal study made things handy. What is amazing is how many times you get told ‘Read the Bible.’ when you really have no idea how to read the Bible and understand it. Not that the Bible is not understandable but that its an immense book with lots of styles of writing and topics in it.
You need to know how to identify various things that are historical, understand thte timeline of events so that you’re not just reading anything and trying to apply it to yourself. These are all things I hope to cover in the study, and I hope that those who attend find it fulfilling since I’m going to be pouring myself into it as best as possible.
Rice + Chicken = BFF
Apologies for the BFF reference. Since we all know that forever doesn’t last very long with food, I suppose I could hvae written Rice + Chicken = BFWSL. But I digress. When Jessica is gone at lunch time I like to make a tasty treat for myself. I grab whatever leftover meat products I have in the fridge (if you’re a vegetarian you could use Tofu based meat substitutes you have left over), I throw them into a lightly cooking oil sprayed pan and then let them warm up a bit. Then I add leftover rice (we usually have some of that around here, thank the Lord) and some salsa (usually we have the industrial sized Pace sitting in the back of the fridge for when Jess doesn’t make salsa fresca). I usually add water to help the rice moisturize (after exfoliating and washing of course) and put the lid on to help trap the steam. I often stir the ingredients to help assure that all is well and nothing burns or gets funky on me.
When I’m about to eat the food I plunk it onto a fine eating surface (read: a plate) and add some cheese (read: mozzerella or cheddar – again, if you’re vegitarian you could use tofu based cheese-like products) and then head down to my TV and turn on the food network to see if I can pick up any hot tips (Not hot chicks, unless you’re referring to other hot chicken dishes) on how to make more yummy food.
I Used the Phone Book Today
Don’t tell anyone. This has to stay between you and me. I used the phone book today. Google just wasn’t cutting it for finding a local waste removal service. The City of Aurora’s web site suggested (gasp!) that I use a phone book. So I went upstairs, grabbed one out of our pile of 7 phone books we’ve got and called Waste Management. Their courteous operator took my order, set me up with my schedule and BAM! [to quote a certain sterile chef] I’m going to have my garbage picked up by WM tomorrow instead of the other company. Also, I’ve got recycling now, which is handy since recycling is good for the environment or something.
But like I said, dont’ tell anyone I actually opened up the phone book. I’m going to put the other 6 phone books into the recycle box next week so that WM can collect them and then take them to the recycling elves who will make our worldly posessions new again simply by waving their magic wand at them and turning them into cookies.
I Love Cats… They’re Delicious
No, this post was not inspired by my sister-in-law’s blog about her trips to China. Instead it is about our neighbor’s cats who have been making our house, their home. I’m allergic to cats and so dont’ find myself drawn to them, even cute little kitty cats don’t hold an attraction for me. Abby’s birthday party this past weekend generated a lot of trash – which I dutifully bagged into large trash bags so as to facilitate my job of moving trash to the curb, and our trash men’s job of moving it from my curb into never-never land where all garbage goes.
This morning (20 minutes ago) I went out to move the trash to the curb but Alas! the cats had ripped into my garbage and had a hey day with it! So I spent some time picking up after the cats and getting most of the things that needed to be disposed of to the curb. Next time I hear one of those cats making sounds liek they’re in heat I’m going to find them and… let Abby pet them – she’s brutal on cats.
All Things To All Men
When I was in seminary I met a guy named Ezra Boggs. He happened to know more about various musicians than me, and he was into the local indy scene. I was humbled by this since it seemed that lots of folks were ignorant of it and he new way more than me. I was also humbled by his attitude of being an instrument or the living of Christ out for all men to see. I bought his band Not Called Common‘s CD “Love Songs for My Enemies” on iTunes today. The lyrics are intense, though the vocals are a little hard to pickup in some of the mixes.
Either way, read this article: All Things To All Men that Ezra wrote. It caused me to sit with a slight tear in my eye as I humbly realized that God works outside of my world in a bigger way than I’ll ever imagine.
Amen.
Embarassed By Humor
Last night when I went to the post office, which is where I saw the stamps I linked to earlier, I was wearing my ‘No Smorking’ t-shirt from engrish.com. The gal who helped me at the post office was kind and quite nice about helping me with my special delivery. Then she asked about the shirt. I was slightly embarassed because she was Oriental, spoke broken English (though it was understandable) and had been so nice. Sometimes I forget that what is humorous to us crass Americans can be rather rude.
Care Bear Sensuality and My Age
This evening we were in a Super Target about 5 miles away from our house and I had a really weird experience. Actually, two of them.
First, we were passing a stuffed, talking Care Bear that was a fit’n’fun [or some other name] bear. It actually sang, “Let’s get physical.” What?! I don’t want my nearly three year old daughter walking around my house, our church building, or anywhere singing, “Let’s get physical.” Olivia Newton-John is not on my top ten list of favorite artists either. Does she get royalties for those bears?
Secondly, there were a few bikes for sale at the Super Target that were not locked up. Therefore several young boys took it upon themselves to ride up and down the aisles quickly on the said bicycles. I told them to stop, but they didn’t listen. Then, one of the boys who was chasing the other boy who was riding the bike with a shopping cart finally listened to me saying, “Please stop doing that, it’s not safe.” He found the other boy and said [in the indelible words of Dave Barry, “I am not making this up.”], “The old man over there told us to stop.” I am 27 and will be 28 towards the end of September, but I am not old! I refuse to accept this age discrimination as acceptable behaviour for the youth of America.
Let’s get physical and whip these young lads into shape.
Snuggle as a Family
This morning Abby crawled into bed with us and wanted all three of us to snuggle together. As we cuddled and Abby rambled on about something cute, but slightly incoherent, I thought about how my family will change come Evy’s arrival. It’s quite an honor to be a father, and its also quite an honor to be the father of two girls. What an amazing blessing to be married to Jessica as well.
I’m blessed.