Well, the fish, formerly known as Goldy, currently now having reached oneness with the septic system, died. I found her doing the back stroke this morning and quickly moved her to our flusher. Except that goldy didn’t flush. I didn’t know she didn’t flush, but I found out later. How exactly did I find out?

Abby came down stairs saying in a strained tone, “Daddy, someone put Goldy in the toilet. Was it you?!”

So I had to own up to it and tell her Goldy had died. Stupid toilet.

[for the record Abby was OK with the fish dying]