This is a completely satirical look at what will make you go to hell. This is not biblical, it is not true, it is me being weird. That being said, “Here’s the way to go to hell on the internet.” Oh, and sorry for the technical nature of this post if you’re not a junky like me.
[start from the bottom, it’ll be better that way]

1. React to those emails as if they’re true.
2. Forward Emails that have been forwarded by at least 20 people before you without clearing out the cruft.
3. Use the ‘blink‘ tag on your HTML page.
4. Be a domain squatter – this is a guaranteed eternity in hell.
5. Disable Google ‘Safe Search’ on their image search while searching for pretty much any female name. This is straight up pr0n surfing.
6. Using Peer-To-Peer file sharing for non-educational purposes.
7. Using Internet Explorer 5.5 or less to surf the net on Windows – 6.0 will cost you 7 weeks in purgatory**.
8. Using Mosaic – any version – to surf the net.
9. AOL – no need to say more.
10. Writing about what time you woke up in the morning on your blog… every day.

** No, I don’t believe in purgatory