The Matrix has no right to be 13 years old. It stands up so incredibly well. Amazing film. Shame they never made any sequels. — Shea Bennett on Twitter
Category Archives: Funny
Merry Christmas!
Normally I’d write some very sentimental message right here, but today I’m going to just link you over to Cake Wrecks. Now I’ll say this: Thanks for pulling with us during 2011 – it’s been quite a year with lots of firsts and some hopefully lasts, and maybe even a laugh or two. As for now: may your Christmas be heavenly focused, and may your time with your family not need spiked eggnog. And if you don’t get time with family may you get time with friends. And if you don’t get time with family or friends may you get it before or after. And if you’re an exception to that: I’m sorry.
Question of the week: What was the best part of 2011?
She’s a Bad Nurse
The 6yo said today, “I went to the nurse, but all she gave me was some water. She’s a really bad nurse.” The 6yo has a cold and no other needs of any sort. I would suggest that the nurse does a fine job, and the 6yo needs to adjust her standards.
Out of Candy
I put the following on our door yesterday after our candy bowel [SIC and SICK] was emptied by greedy children:
All the children
Took all of our candy
& made us cry all of our tears.
Sorry.
PEMDAS
Sometimes you have to remember that there is an order of operations. You go into the doctor’s office and you have to order the operation ahead of time, otherwise they don’t give you one.
You Don’t Know Percentages
When what you read is:
Debt increase by presidents: Reagan 186%, Bush 54% Clinton 41% Bush II 72% Obama 23%. /source CBO [from Twitter].
Does your brain translate it to this:
It turns out those percentages don’t add up to the actual national debt value, so the numbers seem wrong. But when someone shows you percentages get out your spread sheet or calculator to make sure that you’re not being had. If you say that Obama has had less spent during his presidency or that Clinton was a spendthrift or any number of other things based on percentages you’re probably doing it wrong. And yes, this is showing billions and trillions [the formatting isn’t quite right in the copy/paste].
Due to the compounding values of those debt numbers this massive expenditure of “only” 23% is rather ‘off’. Additionally Obama’s presidency is not over, so calling this one is a bit premature.
I say we call them all out for being fools with the financial resources. Additionally: congress(es) is (are) also responsible for this.
Bread Alone
I asked Jessica, “What is this bread doing soaking in the blue bowl?”
She replied, “It’s benadryl, for the dog, so that she can stay calm after her surgery.”
“OK,” I said, satisfied by that answer.
“Don’t eat it,” she added to help me grasp the seriousness of the situation. She knows I have a special place in my heart for benadryl soaked bread. 😉
Backy Juice
Yesterday Jessica accidentally spilled a container of tobacco juice which we made for some lawn maintenance strategy that was suggested to us. The problem is that we tried to employ this strategy about 3 years ago, maybe more. So the nasty smell was from fermented tobacco juice. It stinks quite badly. I hope we’ll be able to sell the house now 😉
Bananas
It turns out that my family does not like dried bananas. At all. I discovered this during our family trip because I opened up a package of dried bananas and the whole car churned into a cacophony of complaints that it smelled bad or that someone had farted or died in the car.
I ate the dried bananas anyway. I enjoy them.
Texts From My Wife: Father’s Day
“Really, fathers day cards from the dog?! So ridiculous! I am so not letting the dogs pick on out for you :)”
I agree, I expect fathers day cards from the children, a few special badgers, and maybe my time-traveling grand children, but not the dogs!