My Very Own Disenfranchised State of Mental Being

I realized something about myself this morning.  I realized that I am a disenfranchised individual.  Unlike some franchises I cannot join with money or a change of sexual preference.  Nope, I’m a white boy who cannot, for the life of himself, get the rhythm he so wants.  I’m not a Republican or a Democrat because no party specifically embodies what I believe and behold.  I cannot, at present, be part of the long-beard franchise.  In no uncertain terms do I want to be part of the Fedora Hat franchise.  I’m not fond of being extreme in a political manner because I find that being extreme in any direction besides passive gets me connected to franchises I don’t want to be part of.  As a Christian I’m a non-denominationalist, which is to say I’m not part of any brand/breed/franchise of Christianity.

I do however want to point out that I shouldn’t be affiliated with the disenfranchised because that may have some sort of weird side effects I can’t afford.

Beardual Harassment Part II

Yesterda at my chiropractor’s I was laying on my back in the supine position when my chiropractor declaired that my goatee was long.  She then grabbed it and ripped it off.  OK, not really, she just grabbed it and further declaired my freakishness by saying that facial hair feels weird.

It is a good thing we’re friends with her during the off-hours or I’d have to run screaming from the office.

B and W

I love black and white photography.  I enjoy Ansel Adams, sure, but I have enjoyed black and white photography outside of his work as well.  Today the sun was shining in through my egress and I snapped a few shots with my mac.  Not quite archive quality but the light was inspiring.  My hair is not.

He heHe he 2

Looking awaySquat

Guns

Sawdust

I spread sawdust all over the floor this weekend.  I rubbed it into the carpet.  On purpose.  I paid money to do so.  Life is weird like that.  Apparently my carpet is cleaner due to the sawdust.  I keep spotting bits of it that my vacuum failed to suck up.  Argh.

Lions and Tigers and Hairs

Yesterday we were instructed by a specialist to get rid of our couch & matching chair downstairs and to get our heating ducts cleaned out as well as get our carpets shampooed due to Jessica having a severe allergy to… pet dander!  Yippee!  The good news is that we now know some of what has been sucking the energy out of her day-to-day life for several years now.  The bad news is that we had to go look at couches last night.  At a furniture store.  With three hundred variations on the same theme: big, wide, huge couches.  Our basement, where the problem area is, has a narrow, skinny, awkward stairway down into it which makes getting any furniture up or down it difficult.

We finally picked one set which was twice as much as I had wanted to spend but significantly better than anything else and would actually fit down our stairway.  I helped pick the house, so I get to live with narrow stairways.  I’m excited we’ll be ordering them today because it will be good to help resolve Jessica’s issues.  I’m just hoping that my family will understand if we show up at their houses with dust masks on 😉

Tell me if we shouldn’t have seen this coming:

1) Move into a house that the previous owners had dogs into while Jessica’s preggers and she’s low on energy, but we think she’s pregnant

2) Jessica’s mom moves in with us for many months with her dog – we think Jessica just had a baby so why shouldn’t she still be tired all of the time

3) We get a dog after Jessica’s mom leaves with her dog – and say, “Hey, the puppy keeps us up at night so why shouldn’t she be tired.”

4) We get rid of the puppy because Jessica is allergic to the puppy

Why we didn’t think, “Puppy-ness is still all around us – lets replace furniture and spend gobs of money to totally cleanse our environment?”

I Wish I Had A Better Memory

Do you ever have those conversations that just kill you with laughter? Each exchange of the conversation builds up to an even funnier ‘bit’? Me, too. Except that I can never remember then when I’m sitting in front of my computer. Its like my brain shuts off. I could walk away from this keyboard, have an exchange with Jessica, laugh, laugh, and laugh some more, come back here and my mind would be blank. It would be like I never talked to Jessica except for having a vague recollection of laughing with her.

I would say, “If I had a nickel for every time I had a funny conversation…,” except that a nickel isn’t worth as much any more, and you’d just feel worse that I have the memory of a flea.

Beardual Harassment!

Bearded Oneder Bearded Wonder Bearded Wunder

Yesterday as I was paying at the pump (and by paying at the pump I mean paying a lot of money for gas at the pump – why are these prices back?) a vagrant stopped by my pump and waited until I was finished pumping the gas to ask for money that would be freely given. It would be a better return on my money than the gas in a certain respect, but I’ll leave that alone for now and outline the conversation.

Panhandle Pete: “Hey, man, can you spare any change?”
Cheap Peterman: “No, I paid with a credit card and I don’t carry cash.” [which was in no way a lie, but possibly too much information]
Panhandle Pete: “Can you spare some goatee?” [flashing his toothless grin]

If I had given him some money I would have snatched it back at that moment. What?! Am I a proteinous follicle monster?

Update: This afternoon I put a tiny amount of gel into my beard to help straighten it out because it was getting messy. I think I may have a problem.

Warpy 1 Warpy 2 Warpy 3