Halloween Costume Ideas

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Halloween is just around the corner and it’s best to be prepared with a great costume idea. I’ve collected some interesting costume ideas from… this blog. Using StatTraq‘s built in Search Term functionality I can see what people are searching for on Google, Yahoo! and MSN (among others). Here are a list of goofy, un-doctored search terms in order of frequency, that you might want to dress up like (and most you won’t).

  1. AOL samurai halloween costume
  2. Banana Phone
  3. Women of (Home Depot or Walmart)
  4. Man Breasts
  5. Randy Peterman
  6. samurai outfit [completelydifferent from the first suggestion]
  7. 2004 volkswagen bug
  8. michael jackson aging
  9. An okapi
  10. Spider-Man
  11. seat heater
  12. Freakazoid!
  13. dave ohara
  14. little miss randy
  15. aol broad
  16. belluga
  17. jehovah’s witnesses
  18. oscar meyer kid commercial ballerina
  19. black teens
  20. stuck pig
  21. fridgid wives
  22. “victorias secret model”

And while you’re working on those costumes don’t forget to use your “amnesiatic dictionary” (yet another odd term that somehow linked to my site).

Stuck in My Head

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I have songs stuck in my head and they keep looping and looping and looping and looping and looping and looping and looping and looping and looping… well, you get the idea. The problem is that they’re not pop songs, rock songs or even polka songs, they’re kids songs. Songs from Abby’s CD’s, Banana Phone, the Arthur theme song – basically songs that I don’t choose to listen to voluntarily.

Pray for my sanity as I may start needing potty training again 😉

A Critique of John Kerry’s Speech to the Democratic National Convention

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Below is a quote of the first paragraph, which is all I’m going to critique.

My fellow Americans, this is the most important election of our lifetime. The stakes are high. We are a nation at war — a global war on terror against an enemy unlike any we have ever known before. And here at home, wages are falling, health care costs are rising, and our great middle class is shrinking. People are working weekends; they’re working two jobs, three jobs, and they’re still not getting ahead.

I will attempt to debunk this paragraph as no other has debunked before. I will debunk faster than a soldier ordered out of his bunk. This will also be a thorough bebunking so prepare for a little depth.

First Word: My
Oh, like this one hasn’t been used before. My two year old daughter knows how to use the word “my.” I don’t think we want a president who’s greedy and says my or mine all the time. You will also note that M is the 13th letter and Y is the 25th . These two letters add up to 38 which is clearly a reference to the 38th president, Jimmy Carter. And we all know that Jimmy Carter represents the 70’s and disco funk.

Fellow Americans, this is the most important election of our lifetime.
By using the term fellow, which can be defined as ‘a boyfriend‘, Kerry is reaching out to gay constituents. By using the term ‘Americans’ he is referring to big fat stupid white men who watch too much football.

I can’t finish this critique. It’s too much. I feel like I’m having a reaction to High Fructose Corn Syrup due to the sugary sweetness of the rest of the paragraph. Fortunately there’s tomorrow where I might continue on in careful evaluation of this ‘speech.’

Vote for Brian White in 2004.

Amish in the City

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Last night there was a show on (‘the season premiere’) called Amish in the City. The introductory bits were so bad that I went off in search of something intellectually stimulating. The idea of the show is to take six amish teens/early twenties people and mix them with six city-folk in a house whilst the Amish discover whether or not they want to go back to Amishland.

What was so bad was the brief biographies of the amish folks. Everysingle one started, “My Name is [Some Amish name] and I grew up on a farm.” Then they all (all being the first couple because after that I was done) went on to say how they had a lot of questions about city life and were really curious. Dumb.

I feel sorry for them because of the doctrine that their community holds (once baptized into the Amish community if you leave you will go to hell) makes leaving impossible on a spiritual level. However, I also feel bad because anything they might gain in a city is really superficial.

I just had to get that out of my system. Thanks for reading it.

Addendum: [August 7th 2004]
People keep leaving bizaare comments – I don’t understand it. I don’t hate the Amish, I don’t think they’re dangerous or stupid. I disagree with their doctrine and I don’t think they rightly divide God’s word. I disagree with the producers of the Television show exploiting them for this ‘series’ because I don’t think that it will add value to the young Amish folks lives nor will it be great television.

New Category

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Since I like word plays, and various pun related humor, and since also I keep finding odd ‘new words’ around the net, and since I’m writing a run-0n sentence – I have created a new category for this site: Word Play.

And now a One Word Play:

Me: “No.”

Good-Bye Old Paint

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Well, the house I grew up in as a kid is no longer in the posession of my family. As far as that goes, congradulation to Ed and Sha’i for this big move. Sort of sentimental for me, but it’s good for them to relocate – across town.

The Park

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This afternoon, after work I took Abigail to the park by our apartment. She is getting so big it freaks me out. She slid down the little slide face first and then climbed up the ladder multiple times by herself (though I stood right there ready catch her in case she slipped) and she went down the big slide many times (“Again Daddy?”). It looked like it might rain so we went to nearby shelter of Microcenter, a computer store.

There Abby wanted to buy so many pretty, colorful things. She almost talked me into buying a Mac 😉 However, my fear of having to explain to Jessica why I bought it followed by having to return it to Microcenter made me change my mind.