Category Archives: News

Things, Goings On, and Stuff I write

Snow in July

Jessica and Abby went up into the mountains with our friends the Kaes (sans Craig, who was working) to go hiking yesterday. Upon arriving at the mountain where they were to go hiking they got out of the car and encountered cold wins and snow. SNOW! Freaky weird, but cool. I imagine that they wish they were having snow in Texas lately instead of the flooding. OK, that is all. I just had to share that bizaare story.

Halloween Costume Ideas

Halloween is just around the corner and it’s best to be prepared with a great costume idea. I’ve collected some interesting costume ideas from… this blog. Using StatTraq‘s built in Search Term functionality I can see what people are searching for on Google, Yahoo! and MSN (among others). Here are a list of goofy, un-doctored search terms in order of frequency, that you might want to dress up like (and most you won’t).

  1. AOL samurai halloween costume
  2. Banana Phone
  3. Women of (Home Depot or Walmart)
  4. Man Breasts
  5. Randy Peterman
  6. samurai outfit [completelydifferent from the first suggestion]
  7. 2004 volkswagen bug
  8. michael jackson aging
  9. An okapi
  10. Spider-Man
  11. seat heater
  12. Freakazoid!
  13. dave ohara
  14. little miss randy
  15. aol broad
  16. belluga
  17. jehovah’s witnesses
  18. oscar meyer kid commercial ballerina
  19. black teens
  20. stuck pig
  21. fridgid wives
  22. “victorias secret model”

And while you’re working on those costumes don’t forget to use your “amnesiatic dictionary” (yet another odd term that somehow linked to my site).

Another Baby

No, not for us!

Cyrus Jude Matthews was born today at lunch. Congradulations on your arrival in Colorado – blessings to the Matthews family!

A Critique of John Kerry’s Speech to the Democratic National Convention

Below is a quote of the first paragraph, which is all I’m going to critique.

My fellow Americans, this is the most important election of our lifetime. The stakes are high. We are a nation at war — a global war on terror against an enemy unlike any we have ever known before. And here at home, wages are falling, health care costs are rising, and our great middle class is shrinking. People are working weekends; they’re working two jobs, three jobs, and they’re still not getting ahead.

I will attempt to debunk this paragraph as no other has debunked before. I will debunk faster than a soldier ordered out of his bunk. This will also be a thorough bebunking so prepare for a little depth.

First Word: My
Oh, like this one hasn’t been used before. My two year old daughter knows how to use the word “my.” I don’t think we want a president who’s greedy and says my or mine all the time. You will also note that M is the 13th letter and Y is the 25th . These two letters add up to 38 which is clearly a reference to the 38th president, Jimmy Carter. And we all know that Jimmy Carter represents the 70’s and disco funk.

Fellow Americans, this is the most important election of our lifetime.
By using the term fellow, which can be defined as ‘a boyfriend‘, Kerry is reaching out to gay constituents. By using the term ‘Americans’ he is referring to big fat stupid white men who watch too much football.

I can’t finish this critique. It’s too much. I feel like I’m having a reaction to High Fructose Corn Syrup due to the sugary sweetness of the rest of the paragraph. Fortunately there’s tomorrow where I might continue on in careful evaluation of this ‘speech.’

Vote for Brian White in 2004.

New Category

Since I like word plays, and various pun related humor, and since also I keep finding odd ‘new words’ around the net, and since I’m writing a run-0n sentence – I have created a new category for this site: Word Play.

And now a One Word Play:

Me: “No.”

Good-Bye Old Paint

Well, the house I grew up in as a kid is no longer in the posession of my family. As far as that goes, congradulation to Ed and Sha’i for this big move. Sort of sentimental for me, but it’s good for them to relocate – across town.

The Park

This afternoon, after work I took Abigail to the park by our apartment. She is getting so big it freaks me out. She slid down the little slide face first and then climbed up the ladder multiple times by herself (though I stood right there ready catch her in case she slipped) and she went down the big slide many times (“Again Daddy?”). It looked like it might rain so we went to nearby shelter of Microcenter, a computer store.

There Abby wanted to buy so many pretty, colorful things. She almost talked me into buying a Mac 😉 However, my fear of having to explain to Jessica why I bought it followed by having to return it to Microcenter made me change my mind.

Two for One

This morning Abby got up early again while I was doing Bible study, but she came out looking so cute (we left her pig-tails in her hair over night) that I took a moment or two to snuggle her.

Later in the morning I got her a cup of milk and she paused from drinking it. Because she was just standing there with her blanket in one hand and her cup of milk in the other I asked, “What are you doing? Are you going to the bathroom?”

“No.”

“Are you drinking your milk?”

“No.”

“What are you doing then?”

“I’m holding my blanket.” [Duh, dad]

Later she found a penny and was holding it. I explained to her that it was a penny (which I think made it more valuable). Then I grabbed a handful of change out of my pocket and began to tell her the names of the different coins. I told her that a nickel was worth five pennies, and that a quarter was worth five nickels or twenty-five pennies. Then a dime was worth two nickels and ten pennies. She soaked up all of this information and then I gave her another nickel and said, “Here’s another nickel.”

With great excitement in her eyes she said, “Another Nickel!” and sat down and marveled at all of the coins. I remember being that excited about things so simple, and I thank the Lord for the joy this little girl brings to our lives. What amazes me is that she will be two next month and twenty the month after that (at at least it seems that way).