Category Archives: Abby

All things relating to Abby

Knock, Knock

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Abby’s been trying to develop her humor skills over the last several months. She’s been doing knock, knock jokes. Only she doesn’t know any knock, knock jokes. So she’ll say “Knock, knock.” To which I’ll reply, “Who’s there?”
She’ll come up with some random word and then just bust up laughing. Its precious in a painful sort of way because the humorist inside of me goes, “No, that’s not how to do those!”

As if there’s actually a really sophisticated knock, knock joke that I’ve developed over years of finely tuned stand-up yacking. Given the quality of some of the humor on this site, I should probably be taking lessons from her. Or maybe lessens 😉

/me will now be trying to think of the best knock, knock joke ever for days.

A New Car Seat for Abby

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Two days ago Abby’s car seat started giving us serious grief and she rode him in the car with only a four point harness instead of 5 points. That was less than ideal but I disassembled part of it and tried to fix it. To no avail. So yesterday evening we dropped her off out our neighbors’ place for about an hour and ran over to Target (our favorite French store) and picked up a new one. Dang. Not only are there lots of options, but you can pay a lot of money for a really uncomfortable looking [and feeling] seat. Kudos to Target for having them at eye level so we could touch, smell and taste these expensive safety restraints.

We chose one that has cup holders. But in Abby’s case they’ll probably just hold her miniature stuffed animals most of the time 🙂

My Dad Said…

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Abby has started to pick up on the convenience of authority at times. For example she’s started the stage wherein if one parents seems to not be delivering the expected results then she’ll envoke the authority of the other parent. Just now I overheard her saying to Jessica, “But my dad said I could….” Jessica knew it was a fabrication (or lie, fib, deception, untruth, falsehood, misrepresentation or B.S.). I find the irony to be that I used to try this and while there were some times that it worked, I was always a crumby liar. Which is probably good. The only way I have ever been a very good liar was in the context of a practical joke, surprise party or when Jessica’s $450.00 leather jacket got put in the washing machine and I blamed it on the one eyed monster I had seen leaving our house just as I got home after a long day of work* [and Jessica if you’re reading this its completely true – the monster was leaving our house, it is my only excuse**].

* That is a lie. Jessica has never had a leather jacket to my knowledge, and certainly has never had $450.00 to buy one.
** This is a complete fabrication, which therefore makes this parenthetical statement an attempt at humor.

Oh, What a Trashy Dad I Am

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This morning upon waking up I had to get the trash out to the curb. There was a lot of it because I cleaned out the garage for the first time this year. It needed it badly and there are still more things to tuck away and more things to pick up and tidy, but its a start. Anyhow, Abby asked if she could help. I told her no she could not because it was cold outside. Colder than a caveman frozen in a block of ice in Sunny California [Trade Mark] that happens to defrost and go to high school with Samwise Gamgee and Polly Shore. So I opened up the blinds at the front window so that Abby could watch me take the trash to the curb. She watched and watched as I took each can, several bags and more cardboard than a Wal-Mart dumpster out to the sidewalk. Each time as I walked back to the house she would wave at me through the window. Her cute little face peering out making sure I was there and when I wasn’t in view she would make sure that she saw me as soon as I was in view. Her hand waved with great excitement at seeing her daddy. It is good to be Abby’s dad – she truly is a joy to her father.

Then I took a walk in the cold (which was not as cold as Ensino Man, but was more like the cold of the bathroom tile when you’ve been nice and warm and cozy in bed, its a bit of a shock but you get used to it and then falling back asleep is more difficult) to return some videos we had rented. I think we rented them when Hoover was the president. They have been in our house for so long that I had grown accustomed to them kind of like the spider that is in the corner of my office that I just can’t get rid of because he’s become a strange companion. A companion like a prairie home companion. A companion like Mr. MacFeely is to Mr. Rogers. A companion like Robin is to Batman. OK, so not that kind of companion, the spider is in a funky spot that I don’t care to put the effort into getting rid of. Jessica would like me to, though.

So, its been a good morning 🙂

Double Your Pleasure

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Well, last night, after a gruelling day of whatever we went to dinner. We went to a restaurant called Mimi’s Cafe. Ironically there was one not too far from us in Texas that we never went to in Texas, but once we moved to Colorado we still didn’t go there. Then, we went to Texas last Summer and met our friends the Henebury’s there for lunch and really enjoyed it because they have a New Orleans flare with a diverse menu. So we go to our local branch periodically.

Well, the reason our pleasure there was doubled was this: Two (count ’em) people came up as they were leaving and told us that our girls were well behaved. Nothing makes you feel like you might possibly not be a bad, evil, incapable parent like having other parents approach you and say your kids are well behaved. And of course Evie smiled a lot, which is fun 🙂

Jessica’s Got Phone Intensity Disorder

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OK, not really. But hearing Abby last night on the phone talking you’d think she did.

Abby: “Grandma, mommy was yelling at her phone. She was yelling for Amanda to answer over and over.”

Actuallity: Jessica was setting up the voice-recognition ‘key’ for the phone so that when she spoke ‘Amanda’ into the phone it would call her cousin.

I can’t wait until Abby gets older and I can sell a book of these things!

Know Thine Sausages

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Today at lunch Abby looked up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and said with such excitement, “Dad, masali tastes like pepperoni.” Which might as well have been French, Russian or any other language besides some dialect of English at first. I didn’t know what she was talking about until I realized that she was talking about salami, which is a completely different kind of sausage, but at least it was close. Salami doesn’t taste like pepperoni to me, but it is a good tasty sausage, and therefore I enjoyed it during my lunchtime meal.

I Finally Get It

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Growing up my dad would tell the story of my first time to a movie. He took me to see “The Fox and the Hound.” I heard the story of my explanation towards the climax of the movie possibly 50 times or more in my life. I never understood why my dad told that movie so often. Friday night I learned why. We took Abby (and Evie, but she slept the whole time) to see “Curious George.” For the record I think they should have called it Curious Jorge the Intrigued Monkey, but they didn’t because apparently this is based on a book series that I found completely mind numbingly boring as a child and that book series was not called Curious Jorge the Intrigued Monkey. But I digress.

Abby just glowed and glowed throughout the movie. As event took place she would exclaim various things. She smiled a lot, but she sat still on my lap through the whole movie. It was wonderful to see her excitement and enjoyment of the rather goofy cartoon. And, in the end it was way better than the books.