Author Archives: Randy Peterman

Abbyisms

Several Abbyisms of late I needed to report:

We’re Going to Bring Jesus a Present
Since Christmas is Jesus’ birthday Abby assumes we’re going to His party and we’ll bring Him presents. This is going to be tough to break to her, much worse than Santa Clause (who is currently ‘A man’ whe we pass him). She cracks me up with her logical conclusions – there’s no escaping this one.

Bring It On
This morning Abby declared this one out of no where. No context demanding it, she just blurted it out. It makes things exciting around here not knowing what she’ll say next.

Potty Training Part VIIMILK

Well, today Abby decided to go to the bathroom without any adult assistance. This would be good if she succeeded. She didn’t. Instead she got #2 on the floor, the toilette seat and was sucking on her tube of toothpaste when we found her half naked in the bathroom. Good times. So I helped Jessica clean Abby and the mess up and we got onto the rest of the day which was full of Abby’s intensity and disobedience. However, this evening she went back into the bathroom herself and successfully unloaded with #1. What an amazing surprise 🙂

My Blister is a Mac Blessing

I’m sure the title of this post is odd. However, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the blister on the tip of my index finger from doing funky bass guitar stuff last night (I’m recording ‘Carol of the Bass’, my all bass guitar rendition of ‘Carol of the Bells’) is really handy on the touchpad for the iBook. Sure, it’s annnoying other times but it is the most precise touchpadding I’ve ever done 🙂

Complete Chicken Genome Sequenced

Due in large part to the help of the folks at www.subservientchicken.com scientists have sequenced the complete Chicken Genome.

What will we do with the chicken genome? We’ll learn about how to reduce chicken health problems, see how chickens and humans are related genomically and also learn how to make a better chicken salad sandwich. People for the Treatment of Edible Animals were extatic about advances in super-chickens and chickens in military uses.

One professor at Deep Southern Rural Alabama School of Holy Oaks Baptist Theological Traditions Seminary who requested annomininininiimimity was quoted as saying, “T’ain’t so. God didn’t make no super-chickens off the ark.” However, Princeton Seminary professor countered, “If Jesus were alive today he’d be all for making more chicken breasts cheaper to feed the hungry.”

Donation for the Horde

I got a nifty spam this morning with a person looking for a ‘donation for the lord.’ It’s basically the same schpiel that televangelists use on television. Check out the funky quotes below:

I am the above name
person from Sierra-Leone

Read: The above name must mean something like: my name will change as my spamming program alters it.

Since his death,
I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which
the Bible is really against.

Read: Where is that passage?

Exodus
14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

As a Christian sort of fellow: Yeah, that’s a verse for Jews from the Old Testament!

OK, I’ll stop there, but this cracked me up.

Elf Slams Dodgeball

OK, so this last week I’ve watched Elf and Dodgeball. As the title of this post suggests Elf was a much better movie to me. Now, here’s the thing: Elf was fresher and funnier. Dodgeball had funny moments, it had some good snippets edited out, though which would have really clinched the humor in the movie – if you don’t believe me rent the DVD (except you Mom, because I know it’s not your kind of movie… at all) and check out the edited and deleted scenes. Ben Stiller used the same movements, similar joke types and goofy gags that he did in Zoolander and several other movies. In other words, the main quality acting came from his opponent, Peter. However, I give Steve the Pirate (a character in the movie) two thumbs up!

Elf on the other hand was consistently funnier and maybe, because I didn’t watch a lot of Will Ferrell in Saturday Night Live, his humor was at least mostly fresh. Yeah, there was some slapstick stuff in Elf, but I loved the claymation mixed with the real characters in the North Pole. I loved Will Ferrell’s exuberance, whether it was sugar powered or not. And what’s with the love story in the movie that doesn’t lead to sex? I mean come on, do we really want to watch a movie without sex? Actually, yes. I loved that there was very limited language, no sex, very minor innuendo, and a huge amount of creativity in this movie.

So, Elf 0.8, Dodgelander 0.5.

Pardon me while I go pour some syrup on my spaghetti…

Bad Christmas Song

If you stay up later than normal recording music, it might turn out bad. Or the song could just be about being bad. Apologies to Les Claypool for stealing his vocal qualities for the chorus for one of the vocal tracks. It’s rough, but so is the fact I’m going to bed later than usual.

Please, download it, laugh at my sad musicianship, and then pass this MP3 along to the MPAA, RIAA or a CPA and make sure I get sued for using some fellow’s music and lyrics. Or, someone can turn it into a funny flash animation’s sound track and then we’ll both get sued.

Enjoy the song [I’m getting nothing for Christmas].

Hot Air. Hot Water.

This morning we awoke at 6:00 AM and thought, “Holy Shnikies! It’s cold in here.” That would be because our thermostat was down lower than usual. Or so I thought. Turns out that our central heating was not working correctly so that only cool air would be blown out of the heating vents. So this afternoon after doing everything I knew how to do I walked all 200 steps to the front offive of our apartment complex and had them send the repair guy over. He scooted through our bikes and fixed the heater. Ahhh, refreshing hot air.

However, our water heater has been cold as well. Which makes for shorter showers in the house since the hottish water is not as comforting as the hot water is. So I had them fix that, too. I will say that the cold air made the hottish water feel much more like hot water. Maybe a broken heater is a good thing 😉

Geese

Flickr Photo
Geese
There have been a lot of Canadian Geese out in a field next to our apartment here. So I took some pictures. This one actually turned out OK. I really would like a zoom lense, but I’ll have to wait until I have the resources. With a Zoom lense I could have ‘gotten closer’ and the image would have been a little clearer. I also would not have had to have scared the geese!