To make our move here more annoying our ‘friends’ at Qwest took my DSL connection less than serious and it took me two weeks to get connected and have a modem. With that in mind I had installed AOL 9.0 (you know, the one that is an action star in the commercials?) on my laptop to have some sort of connectivity during my wait.

This morning I called AOL and told them to cancel the account here’s a brief run down of the ‘conversation’:

Donald: Thank you for calling America Online today. How can I help you have a better online experience?

Me: Actually, I called to have you cancel my account.
[details of confirming I’m who I say I am and so he can pull up my account]

Donald: Sir did you know that AOL has [spiel read from screen about the many wonderful things AOL offers]?

Me: No, I just want to cancel my account.

Donald: Sir, I’m going to give you two more free months and you won’t be billed until August second.

Me: No, I just want to close my account, AOL has nothing I want. I’ve got a broadband connection.

Donald: Sir, did you know that AOL for Broadband can enhance your connection speed by seven times?

Me: No it can’t, please just unsubscribe me.

Donald: Sir, with the AOL for Broadband package you get enhanced [blah, blah, blah] with a special keyboard for AOL for Broadband users. [Note, I just purchased a $99.00 ergonomic wireless keyboard and mouse, I don’t want a cheap AOL keyboard]

Me: How many more steps does AOL want you to go through before I can just cancel my account because I’d like to just close the account. If there’s one more step I’m going to ask to speak to your manager.

Donald: Sir, our managers are in a meeting right now.

Me: Then I’d just ask for one of them to call me back unless you can cancel my account.j

Donald: OK sir, I’ll just need to confirm the following things…
[conversation continued in the direction I had hoped for, the account is now supposedly closed]

Why does it take so much work to get unsubscribed from their service that promises it doesn’t require a credit card (which I had to provide just to use the trial period)? Why do they behave like the freaking MOB? I hate using automated systems when I call but AOL should switch to one so I don’t have to argue with a guy who’s job is to make my life miserable. AOL, if anyone there reads this: please change your policies here so that people don’t hate you more than they already do!

I know you’ve got a business but the attitude of your employee on the phone made me so mad I’m writing about it here. Consider better business practices as a good thing… the world will thank you for it.