Overheard walking through the ‘port:
“I took, like, a sleeping pill. It totally freaked me out. It was, like, a Xanax.”

What the heck? Xanax should mellow people out! Maybe she shouldn’t have mixed the Xanax with methamphetamine [note: Microsoft Word doesn’t offer synonyms for methamphetamine].

So this morning as I was waiting for my Grande Soy Latte at Starbucks (which I don’t prefer, but given I consumed Folgers all week, this was a step in the right direction in my caffeinated world) I noticed that the young lady in front of me was wearing a Victoria’s Secret sweatshirt. It was not lingerie it was a sweatshirt. Weird. Weirder still was the fact that her pants had a large hole in their right buttock [20% of the total right buttock area in my general estimation]. There was some sort of fabric underneath the pants that made sure that the public was not exposed to skin, but there was an awkwardness to this for me because I didn’t know if she was wearing a long striped shirt that extended way beyond what I have seen in shirt design, or if I was being exposed to the stripy colorfulness of her undergarment. I didn’t want to be exposed to either of the options, but it was clear that this hole was a fashion. The third alternative is that there was a colorful, stripy, and stupid piece of cloth sewn into the pants, but that defeats the purpose of the hole and I did not see any thread that indicated sewing lines. And I know sewing lines in pants like I know molecular biology [which I don’t].

OK, so here’s where it gets weirder: I saw another woman walking through the airport moments later that had incredibly tight pants on that left nothing to question about her lower body structure. I imagine those pants cut off the blood circulation to parts of her body and took a large amount of time to squeeze into. Maybe they have started to make “pants horns”, much like shoe horns, only larger and more stunning in their dimensions.

Even weirder was that Soledad O’Brien is on CNN this morning talking about a coyote. The woman sitting across the airport waiting area from me was smiling a large smile as she watched the news about the coyote. It is kind of scary because I don’t want for her to enjoy coyote news. I guess I’m generally an anti-coyote news sort of guy, which is something I didn’t know about myself. Coyote news feels rather stupid in the grand scheme of things because coyotes, wily or not, just don’t seem to be a really important part of urban ecology. Sure, that could change, but I doubt it.

I have had 4-6 hours of sleep the last couple nights and I’m getting burned out on the whole ‘low on sleep thing.’ To further the issue last night I woke up several times with my brain in a near panic due to not wanting to miss my alarm. The same alarm that woke me up the other days that I was on this trip that kept my sleep to a minimum. For some reason not showing up to the office on time didn’t concern me, but missing a flight to get home where I would be alone was apparently important. Apparently I need to find a sleeping pill that is not, like, Xanax.