Happy anniversary to my brother and sister-in-law! They (amazlingly?) allowed me to be in the wedding as the best man. Of course already being married to the grooms sister qualified me for other perks such as playing a brief practical joke wherein I lost the wedding ring for the bride.
Thanks for not killing me after that little stunt 🙂
The sad, sad tale of a young man in search of love, but instead only getting a note saying it’s all over. This pordcast might make you laugh at how stupid young love is, and how less sophisticated men get even if they’ve gotten past that ‘young love’ stage. Much less rambling than before and also, quite nice 70’s music with a brief performance from Randell and the Wah-wah Pappas.
You can download the Pordcast here.
So, last Wednesday I did a brilliant thing: I went riding my bike for one half hour. Exercise is good. I did not wear a shirt because I wanted to keep my fantastic physique off white (darker than Michael Jackson) rather than white, whiter and whitest. I didn’t (and here’s the stupid part) wear any sun screen because there was no reason to because I wasn’t going to be out that long. Don’t even get me started about how dangerous that was in the skin cancer department because I was just trying to darken up a little for a boat party next weekend.
So, now I’m rather itchy on my back and last night I couldn’t sleep for a while due to feeling like I was going to go jump off of a bridge [with lots of water under it], a small chair and the bottom step of my stairs so that I could end the agony. Jessica helped me make an oatmeal bath and I was finally able to rest.
However… the itch is back on my back – why did I have to try to beat the white by going red?
Not available at an Audi dealership near you. This one’s got a great intro with an actual multi-track recording of my music.
Enjoy. Or not 🙂
No, I don’t have one. Yes, people are hitting my site whilst searching for the term on the ‘Inkernet.’ Who, in their right mind, wants to watch that? If you are pregnant, looking for that video, please consider going to a pregnancy preparation class or checking your local library. Labor and Delivery is often long and if you downloaded a real time video of that on the Internet it would take a long time. Secondly, being in the same room with my wife as she labored to get our little pumkin girl was really intense – you wouldnt’ want to see that.
In fact, while my bride was huffing, puffing and blowing the hospital down she got this look so intense on her face that I was litterally scared. I thought, “Self, if you ever see that look on her face in a non-labor and delivery situation – run. FAST!” This is because inside of Jessica muscles were doing things that were so intense that only Arnold Schwarteneiger and a small handfull of body building men could possibly understand: she was pushing with all of her might. Of course it was all worth it when the Abigator came out – but dont’ look for those sorts of videos online. If you have to check out Yahoo’s nifty online video search.
Some time I wrote about a site that allowed folks to put captions on things and the entry had the title: What to Wear to Court. Bad move on my part. Now folks are coming to my site looking for clothing advice. If you’re reading this looking clothing advice, you’re on the wrong blog. I recommend the following outfit for 99% of your life: T-Shirt (white, black or possibly blue) with Jeans (blue, loose fitting preferred). When you go to court, you can wear a button up shirt, but don’t lose the jeans! Clothes in court are half of the battle. The other half is whether or not you’re the guilty one or not. If you’re a juror, make sure you wear your sunglasses in so that they don’t see you looking at anything but the person in the stand or the judge or attorneys.
Oh, and make sure you have on clean underwear in case the defendent escapes and kills you – your mom will be proud 😉
note: this is a joke article and if I’m ever called to a jury I will do my civic duties with pride and honor – attorneys please don’t weed me out because I like to laugh
When Jessica and I were dating we were rather defensive around each others ex’s with the exception of two people: Jeremy Telling and Glory ‘Bucky’ Bucknell. Jeremy was the bass player in my band and Bucky was Jess’ best friend for part of our dating time. Once, while I was over at Jessica’s parents’ house in Nevada her ex boyfriend showed up out of the blue to ‘say hi.’ It so happened that I was fixing something that was broken in the house with my “Swiss Army” knife and so I came out to ‘meet’ him and kept the knife out and played with it while he was there.
I’m such a goober, I couldn’t have stabbed an animal if it was attacking me let alone another human being. I just wanted him to get the message that this was my woman and that he best move along and say, “hi,” to someone else. So, what is your favorite (or worst) ‘ex’ story? I’m a faux macho man/knife hunter – are you a killa gangsta, too?
Recently a client of mine hired a search engine optimization (SEO) company to help get their site optimized for search engines. What blows me away is that sometimes practices that may help in ranking a little bit blow the crud out of usability. One recommendation the company made was to use images and have ‘alt’ attributes to help increase ranking. However, the client’s site is already heavy on the graphics and so if they add more images they will actually increase the download time so much that users will need a personal vacation to the water cooler, a trip to the bahamas or maybe could serve a life sentence in San Quentin before the thing loads up.
If you want to get good search engine ranking, do yourself a favor, hire a designer who knows symantic markup, get a nice design that folks might just link to for the appearance, and keep it clean. Write good content that the search engines will eat up, people will link to, and that informs actual readers of valuable information. None of what I’m writing here is new, revolutionary or a secret, however, SEO firms insist on magical markup and stupid hacks. Wake up folks!
So today at lunch I ventured outside (which is rare for me, I live in the basement usually most of the day whilst I code) and took a bike ride to try to get a bit of a tan for next week’s outdoor adventures in Texas. I saw a doe. Unless is was a gay buck, but I digress. How cool is it to see wildlife? I was close to the Cherry Creek Reservoir, so it wasn’t as if the doe was in my front yard.
I asked the doe to please stay where she was at because I found her appealing and attractive. She looked at me and said, “you’re not my type,” and then ran away. I get this reaction from lots of folks so I wasn’t too worried. However, a female counterpart of the humanish species was walking down the street and threw a glass bottle in front of me! She was young, and her parents should probably be jailed for letting her out unsupervised at that age, but she threw it down on the road in front of me. Fortunately it did not break, but I was ready to call the cops and have her hauled to Juvinile Detention for assault and bottlery.
Anyway, I was pleased to see the doe and hope that I see more wildlife on my lunch adventures in the future.
I stayed up late last night working on getting the StatTraq 1.b update out. This morning around 6:15 Abby woke up and came in and made huge amounts of noise trying to get me to wake up. She even managed to whack me in the face with a book several times.
Eventually I woke up and was rewarded by needing ot go to the store. However, God, in His infinite wisdom did reward me: King Soopers was running a special on Cliff bars at 50 cents each. I bought a box.
Then, I got online this morning and was told to ‘Wake Up!’ by a co-worker in Texas. There’s a theme here 🙂