That weird thing by my ear is a pop stopper on a mic stand

In a continuation on the series about things I’m learning about maturity (as I originally posted here) I’d like to talk about what matters the most.  You see I hadn’t figure this out in application until recently.  What matters most hasn’t changed, but the application of that has become much, much more important to me.  What matters most to me is my relationship with my Lord and Savior and that relationship being reflected in my day-to-day life.  My friend Craig told me recently in a conversation that he could tell a difference between Randy 2 years ago and present day Randy.

I used to run my mouth a lot (OK, I probably still do).  Maybe it was pride, maybe it was because I’m an extroverted influencer, but I’ve started listening more.  That only took 30+ years to figure out.  Listen more.  It isn’t as if James hadn’t told us in his letter to the diaspora of the church at Jerusalem that they should listen more.  It isn’t that I hadn’t read that letter tens of times.  It is that I didn’t realize I wasn’t listening.  Do you ever think that you are listening but you’re not?  I am learning to listen more.  The problem is that it takes discipline to listen.  It takes discipline to shut your jaw muscles down and just listen.  I’ve met good listeners and when they listen to me I feel loved.  I need to love by listening more.  Craig told me that during a series of tasks with him that I wasn’t talking as much.  I was working more, but I was also listening more.

A week or so before that I had another friend, Jim, suggest I listen (there’s that word again!) to some lessons by a mutual friend, Jeremy Thomas, who is the pastor at Fredericksburg Bible Church.  As I listened a yearning for a deeper understanding of God’s word just dominated my thoughts.  I have been insatiable in my appetite for what matters most: knowing my God more.  Jim also suggested I re-listen (and finish listening to) the Bible Framework series by Charlie Clough.  There is so much good material in that series.  The series is about thinking.  I know, that’s goofy, but its over 200 lessons on thinking as a Christian rather than just being a thoughtless Christian (that’s kinda blunt, but I don’t know how else to put it).  Craig is a good thinker and when he mentions that he thinks I’m changing it means a great deal to me.

What matters most (my relationship with the Godhead) impacts my work, my family, my friends, and my church.  At work I want to do an amazing job, but this change in my focus means that I actually pay more attention to details (which probably thrills some of my co-workers to no end).  My family has been getting a lot more of me praying and looking for teaching opportunities [and hopefully more listening].  My friends will hopefully find me a better listener – I’m sure praying a lot more for them (even if they’re agnostic or atheist).   At church I’ve been trying harder to pour myself into preparation for my lessons (not that I spent only a few minutes before).  I want my brothers and sisters there to hunger more despite being fed more, to listen more, and to grow more.  I want them to know I love them.  Not to be a creeper, but I want you to know I love you.  When Craig tells me he’s seeing changes he’s telling me he loves me and he’s been listening and watching.  I’d hate for that message (of love) to stop with me.  Listen to someone else today; love them through listening.  It is amazing what you’ll hear.  It is amazing what you’ll learn.  It is amazing how you will grow.

I’m writing this post ahead of time.  Go figure.  I’m writing this while having been studying for a Bible study lesson I will have taught by the time you read this.  The thing I’m covering, as the title of this post suggests, involves rabbis.  Without going into the hefty religious connotations of Christ being a rabbi, I want to give you some quick summary information and then ask you a question or three.  Even if you’re not a Christian, this post has some relevance, so stick with me.

What’s a rabbi?  Here is a short bit of text I wrote for my handout (it is by no means thorough):

Rabbis would have been teachers of the Old Testament, but primarily the Law or Pentateuch. Typically a student would approach a rabbi and ask if he may follow the rabbi, if the rabbi rejected him, he would then go off to a trade. The student of the rabbi was called a talmidim. If you’ve ever heard of the talmud, it is the a Judaic book that outlines traditional rabbinical teachings. Christ operated contrary to this and sought out His disciples and told them to follow Him. Furthermore the disciples were at least in part already involved in trades – so they would have to walk away from their careers and lives as they had expected them to be and instead joined themselves to Christ.

A rabbi was expected to have a physically following disciple or disciples, and Elijah and Elisha were an important example of this concept in the Old Testament [I Kings 19:19-21]. Time was to be spent together and a lifestyle that represented the teacher was to be lived in front of the following disciple. Discipleship meant being seen with the rabbi so that others would begin to see what the rabbi taught as see the fruit of the teachings worked out in the lives of the disciples.

What I have been thinking about is this question: Who are today’s rabbis?  Who do people follow and identify themselves with?  Historically it was a life devoted to a teacher and their teachings.  In modern first world America, do we have time for this rabbi/disciple concept?  Today we follow people on twitter, television, the Internet, and of course in our cars to the store, but do we really follow teachers and devote ourselves to their teachings?

Are rabbis Richard Dawkins, Rush Limbaugh, or Barry Obama?  Of those three one is anti-religion but religious about his anti-religion, one is a right-wing-loud mouth, and one is a president with big words and many promises but single handedly incapable of delivering on what he wants to promise.  Do we follow them?  I personally wouldn’t follow them.  I wouldn’t follow Oral Roberts, Bill Gates, or Joel Osteen.

Who is your rabbi?

Have you ever found something so revolutionary that it changed the way you did things? In my life I have found a number of things that made my head spin, my world clearer, or my world bigger. In the late 90’s one such idea came from a book that really got me churning that was called “The Five Love Languages.” It seemed to make relationships between a husband and wife simpler and easier to grasp than the odd complexity I had developed prior to reading it.  It made me want to explore love with my bride-to-be.  The problem with such concepts as the five love languages is that people hear them, learn them, or come into contact with them and them get set off in the wrong direction because they don’t understand them as merely principles.

If you’re not familiar with the five love languages let me give you this simple list of the five:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

The gist of the book is that each person has a primary way that they perceive  and express love with their spouse.  Furthermore each spouse is strongly encouraged to explore their partner’s love language and keep that in mind when expressing love for him or her.  I spent quite a bit of time liking the idea of focusing on exploring my bride’s love language and even figured out that this could be used, in a modified way, with my friends to express care for them.  Ta-da!  So did the book’s authors and other books in the series of love languages and their application were born and money was had through conferences, tests, merchandising and copyright infringement lawsuits from unlicensed tattoos [I made that last one up].  This is psychology stuff, so I’m sure that someone also discovered a sixth, seventh and eighth love language and has been trying to write papers proving the adequacy of those numbers of love languages for thesis papers and making a good practice out of helping marriages and relationships discover their tertiary love language.

Here’s the rub: this is overly complex despite the simplicity and it gets used as a poor excuse for husbands and wives to not love one another.  At least not to their fullest.  I want to explain that moving forward from here I’m going to be focused on a few Bible verses that I think make the five love languages childs play, and probably unnecessary.  The first place we should take a look is Ephesians 5:22-27:

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

What I see as I meditate on the above passage is something beyond the five love languages and something that should drive a wife absolutely coo-coo-bananas in love with her husband.  A self-sacrificing husband.  A guy who takes the five love languages in, sees their inadequacy, and says, “I’m going to love you in a million ways, and these five are merely a tiny, tiny tip of the iceberg.”  I recently saw on Twitter a guy who said that he was sorry to his wife (publicly on Twitter?) that his primary love language was acts of service.  Lameness.  If her love language is knitting pot holders it doesn’t matter.  If his language was bringing stray cats home to be fed, bathed, and neutered it doesn’t matter.  Sacrificial love trumps all of the given concepts of love languages because it looks for opportunities to love in every aspect, every place, and it is not strapped to a single, primary concept of perceived or expressed love.

As a secondary point against not stopping with this love language concept is that one of the joys of my marriage with my wife has been exploring each of the facets of expression of love and trying to see how they can be expressed in deeper, more meaningful ways.  Just as humans mature (or at least should mature) we look for ways to express love in a sacrificial, yet exploratory way.  To make a food analogy just because I like vanilla ice cream doesn’t mean I don’t explore toppings, other flavors and other combinations within the world of ice cream (or frozen desserts).  The same analogy applied to music means I don’t stop at the Beatles just because I like rock and roll quartets.  Bring on trios [Cream], duos [Simon & Garfunkel], classical, dance, beat boxing, and opera*.

I’ve discovered that my wife pretty much likes all five love languages [in different quantities at different times] because she knows that they’re expressing love to her.  I would probably not be wrong in saying that 99.999% of guys love physical touch [which often gets interpreted as physical intimacy, and for the sake of argument I'm going there now], but if let us face the facts: not all gals are wired for 24/7 physical touching and there may come a time when they’re bleeding, PMS-ing, medically unavailable, or holding a kitchen knife.  It might be a good time, Mr. physical touch, to explore the finer nuances of quality time, words of affirmation, gifts [read: chocolate], or acupressure to relieve headaches.  Sacrificially speaking get a grip, turn off your hormones for a moment and love your wife some other way so she doesn’t feel the need to lock herself in the bathroom, wear chain armor, or buy a slice-wire-bikini from Victoria’s Secret Weapon.

I want to close by saying I don’t hate the general principles behind the five love languages.  They were a good starting point for me and helped me grasp why I might be miss-communicating with my bride-to-be.  They’re not an excuse to be short sighted, justify weaknesses, or get in a rut.  Make it a point to look for ways to create a richer, more complex relationship with your spouse by abandoning your love language and loving with your exploratory, revolutionary hats on.

*Stay away from country music which is an infectious disease [Just kidding (Not really)]

This last weekend I had a first.  I don’t have a lot of firsts in my life any more because of my age, though last September I had a thirty-first.  Sunday I taught on my dad’s behalf as he was in California looking after things there with his family.  I have taught adult Sunday School many times, but its the first time I’ve ever taught in front of my brothers and sisters in Christ in the main service.  I taught on the passage and some possible applications of Titus 2:2-8.  Since that’s not a commonly taught passage I’ll post the text here:

I have put a lot of time into thinking about that passage and I hope you find it edifying on its surface.  Further it is a great passage to use for looking into how we can grow together as a body.  Who has God put into your life for you to grow and have as an example?

Check out the recording of the lesson here.  And the handout that is referenced here.  Feel free to post any questions or comments below in the comments section and I’ll get back to you with answers (assuming I have them).

Penn Jillette wants me to share the gospel with you.  He is an atheist, but he reminded me that you, even if you are not a Christian, still have a soul, and that should matter to me.  It does.  I know that you’re probably tired of hearing religious people cram religion down your throat.  I’m sorry that other Christians, or myself, may have gotten it wrong and tried to present anything but what matters most toward you.  So, in an attempt to clear things up here’s the gospel in simple terms and with some simple definitions to help clarify things.

The Gospel

The gospel is simple.  So simple a child could understand and believe it:  Jesus Christ died on the cross, was buried, rose the third day (read it in the Bible – I Corinthians 15:3-4).  In doing so He satisfied God’s requirement of justice for sin.  Sin that you and I have committed and that separates us from God (read it in the Bible – Romans 3:23-24).  In doing so God extended His love and grace to the whole world!

What is Grace?

Grace is the unlimited, unmerited blessing of God due to the totally adequate work of Jesus Christ on the cross.  Lets break that down because that sentence is like a t-bone steak, and it needs some dissecting to get to the good stuff.  Grace is unlimited: that means that even Adolph Hitler, had he believed the gospel before death could be saved.  It means I don’t have to worry about out-sinning God.  It means that I don’t have to worry about losing my salvation.  It means I can rest in God’s grace.  It means having knowledge of eternal peace with God.  Grace is unmerited: it means that I can’t earn it, I can only believe the gospel and receive it.  It is like a birthday present from a total stranger that is a check for a million dollars.  I didn’t earn it, it is a gift!  Since I didn’t earn it, I don’t have to work to keep it – its a gift.  Blessings of God is a bit tougher to describe because it has to do with relationship with God.  Blessings is not just stuff, it is the reception of God Himself into our lives (God isn’t against stuff, its just that He doesn’t only operate on the earth – Ephesians 1:3 tells us we’ve been blessed with every heavenly or spiritual blessing – read it in the Bible).  The totally adequate work of Christ on the Cross: this means that Christ’s death on our behalf was satisfactory to God so that when God looked at Christ and those who believe the gospel and are therefore identified with Christ he was satisfied and could have awesomely intimate relationship with them.  This is why Ephesians 1:4 can tell us that we’re holy & blameless (read it in the Bible).  Christians are not perfect on the earth, but before God they have been declared holy and blameless as He is holy and blameless.

God wants a relationship with you.  Belief is a simple act, but you know it comes with consequences.  Once you have responded to the gospel – in either belief or unbelief – you know that that decision will come with ramifications.  I encourage you to ponder the gospel message.  Eternity is a long time to be wrong.  I have personally spent hours and hours of my life studying to make sure I’m not putting my trust in absolutely insane, highly improbable truths.  Instead I have found the Bible, God’s book of love, to be True and the source of truth.  Hell is not described as a great place to be, it is described as a place with weeping and gnashing of teeth.  It is described as a lake of fire.  I don’t want to pass up this opportunity to ask you to read the verses quoted and ask yourself where you will spend eternity.

Think About It

I don’t agree with Penn’s reflection on God, that He doesn’t exist.  But I ask you to consider this: I’m not trying to con you, I don’t want a notch in my Bible cover, I don’t expect to get “Jesus Points” [instead of brownie points or merit badges], but I really care about you.  If you’re reading this it means something to me, you mean something to me.  Ask questions in the comments, email me (randy@randypeterman.com), or IM me (if you need that information I’ll email it to you) and we’ll discuss this.  I’m not looking for fights, so if you think you’re going to find that here, you’re at the wrong URL, but I am being genuine because I want you to be there with me in heaven in awe as God reveals more of Himself to us for eternity (read it in the Bible).

Consider putting your trust in Christ to make you right with God rather than trying on your own.  To do so just pray and be really honest with God about your failure to meet His standards of perfection, trust Him for His work through Christ on the cross, and rest in the assurance that you’re adopted into His family.  Then consider finding other Christians who can help you learn about the Bible – I’ll be the first volunteer.