In an effort to stay on top of news, I present to you: Too Much Information!  A snarky look at how our news is not useful.

4 shot dead in Chicago home – because the fact they were shot is not enough, we need to know it was inside. A home. In Chicago.  I wonder if they were shot alive in the woods in Benton, IL instead of Chicago if it would have been picked up [ED: I'm not trying to be callous about murder, I'm just weirded out by the odd specifics of the headline].

Russia pledges $50 mln to replenish Kyrgyz coffers – That’s health care generosity.  I had no idea that the civil unrest in Kyrgyz was due to coffing.  I thought that they were ticked at their president, but it turns out that they had a respiratory disorder.  I feel better now knowing that Russia is on top of the coffee people of Kyrgyz.

Palin urges less government, lower taxes at Boston Common Tea Party rally – If I was charging as much as she is for ‘appearances’ and ‘speaking’ I would want to have lower taxes so as to keep more of that money.  Also: does she like her tea strong like the British?  Would that be ironic?  British.  Tea.  Taxes.  It feels historical somehow.

Google Adds Real-Time Twitter Archive Search – when I tweet I consider it 140 characters or less of throw-away rubbish.  Now you can search for my rubbish and the rubbish of millions in real time.  That’s like being on the receiving end of a garbage disposal.  Yummy!

If you can read (and you’re reading this – so you have no excuse) and you have not already read Alice in Wonderland, please find a copy and get it before your eyes (or fingers) and enjoy the humor in it.  I’m reading it to Abby & Evie right now and its great fun.  You will not be miss-appointed.

I’m sitting at my favrite tire store. The staff are friendly. I’m thankful Jessica noticed the rear left tire was low. It had a screw in it. I’m waiting about 45 minutes for Discount tires to repair it. And I’m thankful this tire was not flat next week, we’ve got a long road trip planned.

The winner, and not because she got it right, but guessed correctly first.

The right answer? Her tights itched. Jessica offered to buy her new tights and ballet was back on :)

Please, I’m begging for your help.  In the comments please list off as many reasons you can think of that my 7 year old does not want to do ballet.  The person who gets closest to the real reason she gave us will get a gift card for $5.00 for Starbucks or Target or Walmart or some store you will use it at.  The only stipulation is that you must live in the US so I can send it to you.  Oh, and all answers have to be G-Rated.