This evening our neighbors upstairs were at it again. And when I say ‘At it again’ I mean one male was screaming at absolutely the top of his lungs, “You stupid, [expletive deleted] piece of,” I interupt to point out that we were watching Master & Commander and the next word out of the neighbor’s mouth sounded similar to a synonym for ‘boat.’ It is at this point that I’d also like to clarify that stomping on the floor not more than 5 minutes earlier would have been appreciated because we were at the climactic battle scene towards the end of the movie. The part where the ship turns itself into a bug and surprises the snot out of a bunch of French folk. Cannon firing with surround sound turned on would have only been enhanced by the deep thunderous stomping of my neighbors upstairs. However, as is so common with them, their timing was off and the loud screaming of expletives was an inconvenience to us.
I’m hoping that they’ll either stop completely or do it again one third (and due to apartment policy, last) time so that we can move on with our lives. They’ve been a real hoot to have above us and I’ve learned a lot of things about being an upstairs neighbor from them. I’ve heard musical scales, river-dance like stomping in the bathroom and seen my daughter run out of my living room afraid. Oh, well. Next year we may try to buy a house anyway, which would mean that our neighbors would have to be really loud to get us this disturbed.
Count your many blessings. My first apartment in Col. Springs featured:
A) Walls so thin I could sit in my living room and simultaneously listen to Monday Night Football from my neighbor on the right, and Monday Night Really Loud Sex For Three Hours from my neighbor on the left.
B) A 1.5 inch gap under the front door (I’m not making this up.) so that when my neighbors across the hall were having a domestic dispute at 3 AM it sounded like they were standing at the foot of my bed. Thus I had to talk really quiet to the police when I ratted them out. 🙂
C) Single pane windows that didn’t quite reach up the seal at the top of the frame, so that when we had a big blizzard (Again, I’m not making this up.) the wind made tiny little snow drifts the tops of my computer and monitor.
regarding A) When we first moved into our apartments on Ash lane in Euless, TX the neighbors downstairs were newly-weds. I joked with my friend Tony that sometimes it sounded like a revival downstairs given all the times the woman would call out to God (which I’m sure violated the first of the Ten Commandments ;)). Needless to say I was pleased to have them move out so that I didn’t feel really awkward when I saw them in passing.