In an effort to stay on top of news, I present to you: Too Much Information! A snarky look at how our news is not useful.
4 shot dead in Chicago home – because the fact they were shot is not enough, we need to know it was inside. A home. In Chicago. I wonder if they were shot alive in the woods in Benton, IL instead of Chicago if it would have been picked up [ED: I'm not trying to be callous about murder, I'm just weirded out by the odd specifics of the headline].
Russia pledges $50 mln to replenish Kyrgyz coffers – That’s health care generosity. I had no idea that the civil unrest in Kyrgyz was due to coffing. I thought that they were ticked at their president, but it turns out that they had a respiratory disorder. I feel better now knowing that Russia is on top of the coffee people of Kyrgyz.
Palin urges less government, lower taxes at Boston Common Tea Party rally – If I was charging as much as she is for ‘appearances’ and ‘speaking’ I would want to have lower taxes so as to keep more of that money. Also: does she like her tea strong like the British? Would that be ironic? British. Tea. Taxes. It feels historical somehow.
Google Adds Real-Time Twitter Archive Search – when I tweet I consider it 140 characters or less of throw-away rubbish. Now you can search for my rubbish and the rubbish of millions in real time. That’s like being on the receiving end of a garbage disposal. Yummy!